Chapter Index

1. Butters 2. Kenny 3. Butters 4. Kenny 5. Butters 6. Kenny 7. Butters 8. Kenny

-SalemNeko-

I was dying.

It was the only reasonable explanation my mind could come up with as the fragments of my subconscious slowly slipped away and my soul was ripped from my body mercilessly. The only warning that this time was different than all the others was the eerie lack of pain that usually accompanied my deaths. It was strange enough to throw me into a panic, something I hadn't done over a death since I was ten years old.

Dying was so common to me—as familiar as the back of my hand—but this time—the last thing I could remember was sitting in Stan and Kyle's little apartment and letting them regale me with stories from their college days. After that... all I could recall was the warmth of Butters Stotch's warm hand clasped firmly in my own.

Just as abruptly as my soul had been thrown out into the universe I was grounded once again, flung like a rag doll into my destination, whatever it may be. I gasped for air as the pieces of my body were once again put back into place. It was always nauseating, and in the hundreds of times I'd experienced death I still hadn't managed to get used to the feeling of being put back together.

It was cold; not something I generally associated with Heaven or Hell. The surrounding air—no, water, I realized, was frigid, and the weight of my thick winter jacket was steadily pulling me under. I panicked and pushed in the direction that I hoped was up, fighting to break the surface of the water.

It was like being born again.

I opened my eyes to such a bright, vivid blue sky that I immediately winced, clenching them shut once more. Jesus Christ, could the sky even be that bright? Contrary to the chilling waters below, the air on the surface was warm on my skin, almost too hot, even. I felt almost as if until this point I had been living my life in some sort of gray area, a middle ground, and as if the world was finally being opened for the first time.

My eyes slowly adjusted to the overwhelming light, and I gingerly began to take in my surroundings. The water was a crystalline blue, untainted even as it washed onto the small beach nearby and back out again. The only thing visible past the small strip of beach was thousands of strange, almost mushroom-like trees so huge that they must have been allowed to grow for hundreds of years undisturbed.

Just where the fuck is this? My mind was racing. If I hadn't died, then what the hell was going on? I couldn't shake the feeling that I had been here before, but that was impossible. I had hardly been out of the state of Colorado my entire life, and I definitely would have remembered a place like this.

I flung the wet mass of hair from his eyes. Okay. I just needed to think this through carefully. This...fucked up visit to a foreign land had to have been caused by something I'd done out of the ordinary. Not that out of the ordinary was exactly... uncommon in a place like South Park. So that didn't really help me at all, did it? Fuck.

A flash of color out of the corner of my eye caught my attention. Butters was there, floating on the surface of the waves. It was impossible to tell from this distance whether or not he was breathing.

"Butters!" I called, pushing through the water to reach him when Butters didn't respond. He was out cold, but still breathing, thank God.

I wasn't sure what I would have done if I'd inadvertently gotten the kid killed. Because even though I wasn't sure how this was happening, I did know why. It was this goddamn curse that my parents had saddled me with.

At the age of nine I'd faced off against Cthulhu, and come as close to finding out just what the fuck I was in my entire life. Of course, that goddamn Bradley Biggle kid stepped in and screwed everything up, but since then I'd been secretly doing my own research on the Necronomicon and the various curses and spells that could be found in the book. Information was sparse, and getting the few cult members in South Park to talk was harder, even under the guise of Mysterion.

And after years of researching to try to figure out just what I was, I finally had something to run with here.

But for it to involve Butters? I found myself frowning down at the unconscious boy as I dragged him to the sandy shores of the beach. I wasn't used to involving anyone in my business, aside from Henrietta, and Butters was sure to demand answers once he woke up. I had hardly spoken to the boy since middle school—even though he'd always been around.

I vaguely remembered an incident our freshman year involving Cartman and Bebe dressing him up as one of the cheerleaders for one reason or another. I think that might have been the last time I'd had an actual conversation with him. He'd been hiding out in the boys' locker rooms, flustered and on the verge of tears as he tried unsuccessfully to open his locker to grab a change of clothes. I only happened to be passing through for a reason I can't remember now, but when I saw Butters with his back turned I was almost sure he was one of the chicks. Bebe had done one hell of a job on him, pinning his unruly hair up and shaving his legs so they looked almost as soft as a woman's in the short skirt of the cheerleader's uniform. I can't remember anything we actually talked about that day, but I do remember opening his locker for him and fighting to keep my hands to myself when he smiled up at me gratefully.

Once we were both out of the water the warmth of the sun took hold immediately. I shrugged out of my sweatshirt, tossing it to the side as I sat cross-legged in front of Butters. He looked nothing like he had that afternoon in the locker rooms, done up almost as if for me alone. Now we were older, and I didn't think he could pull off the feminine outfit if he'd wanted to. The softness in his round cheeks was still there, but even in sleep I could see the roughness that had been hewn since I'd been this close to him last.

And no way in Hell was I giving Butters mouth to mouth. I would simply wait for him to wake up; after all, I was pretty sure that Butters hadn't swallowed that much water. He was still breathing.

My worries were alleviated a minute later when Butters drew a sharp breath, his eyelids fluttering open. Jesus, this kid had the longest lashes I'd seen on a boy, aside from Craig.

"Kenny? What happened?" Butters immediately asked. He sat up wearily and looked around, brows furrowed in thought. His voice was steadier than I would have expected it to be in a situation like this. The Butters I'd known as a child would have been stumbling over his words, worrying about what his parents would do when he got home.

If we got home.

But, strangely, I didn't feel as if Butters and I had drifted apart in the least. It really had been too long since we'd spoken; but in a small town like South Park there was really no room to grow apart.

Butters still had that same annoyingly innocent air about him that he'd had all throughout our childhood. I had hoped that the kid would have outgrown it with the time he'd spent at college, but some people were just made to be as insanely naïve, I supposed. It had a lot to do with his eyes. Those wide, cornflower blue eyes that would observe everything with such an avid curiosity.

He was watching me now, blinking up at me as he waited for an answer. Right. Shit, how was I going to explain the situation without giving him a panic attack?

"Kenny?" Butters asked again. I stood up. I needed to get out of Butters' general vicinity. The openness in his expression was really grating on my already-frayed nerves.

I paced along the small strip of beach, moving between the stand of trees along the bank to Butters' side, then back again. "Don't freak out," I began, glancing back to gauge Butters' expression. Of course he was doing just that, wringing his hands together nervously, "But I think I might have accidentally sent us to an alternate dimension or something."

"An alternate dimension?" Butters parroted as the color drained from his cheeks. "You can't be serious. Are you foolin' with me again, Kenny? C'mon, you're supposed to be an adult now; tell me the truth!" I shook my head with a sigh, watching as Butters frantically searched our surroundings for any sort of clue as to our whereabouts. It was nice to know that he was reacting just as I'd expected—having anything go as expected at this point was a plus.

"I am serious. Why would I possibly lie to you about something like this, Butters? Who do you think I am, that fat ass Cartman? I'm not an asshole to people for no reason." Butters seemed to take some stock in this, even though I distinctly remembered Butters as Cartman's only friend all throughout high school. I wasn't even sure if they were friends; Butters may have just been the only one of us that would still put up with Cartman's crap after so long. I knew that after living in the same town as Cartman and having to put up with his shit for nearly all twenty-four years of my life, I could hardly stand to be in the same general area as the fat ass. But hey, more power to Butters if he was able to hold a conversation with Cartman without needing to fight the urge to punch him in the face.

"So what now, then? Are you sayin' we're stuck here forever?" Butters asked, his voice wavering slightly. Jesus help me. If Butters started crying I was going to go insane.

He didn't start crying, for the moment, but instead unzipped his jacket and slipped out of it, tying the turquoise jacket around his waist by the sleeves.

The flash of silver on his finger caught my attention. That's right, it hadn't been me. It had been that fucking ring that sent us here, I was almost positive! It was all coming back to me now. The strange writing on the sides of the ring, and the odd feelings that even now were hanging in the air, drawing me closer to Butters, closer to the ring. I'd seen that writing before, just like I'd felt like I'd been here before. It had something to do with the Necronomicon; I just needed to figure out what it was, exactly.

Apparently Butters thought that now was not a good time to figure that out, though, since he was already up and heading into the thick forest separating us from the rest of the strange place we'd fallen into. Forget about figuring out how to get home. Yeah, that sounded like a perfect plan.

"Butters! Where the hell do you think you're going?" I demanded. I scooped up my jacket and jogged over to Butters, who was already weaving a path through the large trees.

"Where does it look like I'm goin'? I'm lookin' for someone to tell us where we are."

I grabbed his arm, pulling him to a stop. "Butters. Listen to me." Butters sighed, crossing his arms and turning to face me with a pout.

"What is it?" I was surprised by the exasperation in his tone, though I didn't let it show on my face. Butters growing a backbone? It was unheard of; that was one reason Cartman was so fond of him.

"Just stop for one goddamn second." Somewhere in the back of my mind I knew I'd regret smashing out that little bit of defiant light in his eyes, but it would make things infinitely easier if I was fully in control of the situation. Especially if we were where I suspected. "Listen. What do you hear?" I asked, raising a hand to gesture at the hugely overgrown trees around us.

Butters drew a breath and went completely still, doing just as I ordered. I could have laughed at how intently he followed directions, even silencing his breathing to do as he was told. It probably came from years of being ordered around by Cartman, or his parents.

Butters' parents were legendary for the way they treated him growing up. The shit they put him through was almost unbelievable; if my childhood hadn't been just as fucked up I probably wouldn't have believed half of what Butters would come to school telling us. I wondered if things were still that bad for him at home, or if his parents had finally realized that an alphabetically organized pantry was not the key to happiness.

"Well, I don't hear nothin'!" Butters responded, staring up at the trees in wonder. "Not even a bird chirpin' away, or any forest critters scuttlin' about!"

"Exactly."

It was as if time was frozen around us. There was nothing—no one around, and aside from the faint whoosh of the water behind us and the occasional rustle of leaves from the breeze blowing through the forest, all was quiet. Even as rustic as South Park was, if you were to step out your front door the sounds of cars, of children playing, and celebrities shouting would generally greet you.

There was nothing here.

Even the sound of my breath seemed abnormally loud to me, and this was coming from someone who had spent a good portion of his life living in silence.

"So will you please stay close? I don't want to feel responsible when you start spacing out and end up falling off a cliff or some shit."

"Alright, alright. Jeez."

We continued through the forest in silence, moving together this time. I couldn't help glancing over at Butters every couple of minutes, under the guise of making sure he wasn't about to hurt himself in some fucking retarded way. The mushroom-capped trees were successful at blocking out most of the sunlight and I had to wince to make out any detail in my companion's face.

If I had been by myself I probably would have found some way to ensure my swift death. After spending a few days in Hell I'd be sure to end up back in South Park that way—but I couldn't very well leave Butters stranded here by himself with no sure way to return to our world. It just wasn't fucking fair the way the world worked, sometimes. If I was going to be stuck with this curse for the rest of my life, shouldn't I be able to use it to my full advantage?

"So, ah, Kenny?" Butters asked awkwardly. Aw, goddammit, I knew it was too much to ask that Butters wouldn't actually want to talk to me. Regardless, I found myself still a little annoyed at the fact that I didn't know as much about Butters as an adult as I did as a child. I glanced at him from the corner of my eyes, letting him know that he had my attention. He must have been feeling the same as I was, although I didn't think I'd changed all that much since school let out. Or since we were kids, for that matter. He frowned slightly, observing me so thoughtfully that I had to fight the urge to snap at him to knock it off. "Why didn't you leave South Park?"

"Why did you come back?" I countered instinctively. Butters' mouth opened slightly, though he didn't speak. Guess he hadn't been expecting that one.

"You first." He huffed.

Oh, so he wanted an actual answer, did he? I really wasn't much for idle conversation, but just this once I figured I'd humor him. If it would help a bit of the tension that was rolling off of him in waves I'd do just about anything.

"Karen."

"What?"

"I stayed in South Park to make sure that Karen turned out okay." I told him between gritted teeth. "After all, it's not like I had enough fucking money to go to college or something. I hardly graduated high school as it was." It was true; without Kyle's annoyingly persistent attitude I probably wouldn't have graduated. It's not like I've got any sort of future to look forward to; my best bet is to put it all on Karen. She's going to get out of this shitty town if it's the last thing I do. Butters was still looking at me like he'd found a particularly interesting puzzle to solve, and I could feel the hairs on the back of my neck standing on end. I was half tempted to slip back into my jacket, if only so I'd be able to pull the hood up over my face. I guess it's true about old habits. "I can't take Karen with me, so I figure that I might as well stick around and make South Park the best I can, for her." I should have just shut my mouth, because everything went downhill from here.

Butters' eyes lit up, and he gave me a sickeningly sweet smile. "Oh, Kenny," he sighed, clasping his hands together. And damn it if the way he fucking sighed didn't go straight to my dick. I mean—I know what people think about me—and contrary to popular belief I am actually very particular about who I sleep with. I don't just stick my dick up anybody. And Butters Stotch was not and would never be on my to-do list. "I always knew you'd make a fantastic older brother! She really deserves it," I nodded absentmindedly, too preoccupied with my body's response to pretend to actually give a shit about what was spouting from Butters' mouth. "Boy, what I wouldn't give to have an older brother like you; or any sibling, I suppose..." He trailed off, and I couldn't help but feel thankful that I wasn't related to the Stotches. I definitely draw the line at incest.

Not that I was planning on having sex with Butters or anything.

"Go on then—tell me why the fuck you're here, already." I said with a frown. Butters mirrored my expression, but nodded, conceding to my request.

"Isn't that kind of a loaded question, Ken? I mean—you asked me the same thing before, too. Am I not supposed to be here?" He hesitated, falling a step behind. Damn it, I hadn't meant to upset the kid—it was just that something about his presence was making my insides turn to knots.

"I don't care where you decide to spend the rest of your life. Don't get the wrong idea, here." I glanced back at him. "I just thought—you know, there was that whole thing a few years ago, with your parents." Okay, maybe that hadn't been the best thing to bring up.

"Right. That." He responded dully, "Can we not talk about that?" He offered no more on the subject; or any subject, for that matter. I sighed, kicking a rock out of my path as an uncomfortable silence wedged its way between us.

The forest ahead of us split, pouring a blinding amount of sunlight down from above just as it had done on the beach behind us. I was once again struck with a strange sense of belonging, as if my body was reacting to something I'd once experienced long before I was born. I stepped down upon the threshold of the great, sprawling city, Butters at my side.

In spite of the sense of belonging I couldn't shake, there was also the strange urging of my brain to take Butters and go back—back home, back to the beach where we landed—anywhere but this city. There was an evil presence here and I knew that I wouldn't be able to protect Butters from any of the shit I instinctively knew was going to go down.

"Kenny?" Butters asked hesitantly. I knew that my demeanor was probably scaring Butters more than the overall experience was. After all, fucked up things seemed to be attracted to South Park in a way that I would never understand. But it was my role, after all, to be the silent leader amongst our friends. I couldn't allow fear to break my mask now. "Are we goin' down there? It's awful quiet—I mean, d'ya think anybody's there? Those buildings look pretty old."

He was right; the city was huge, the buildings all intricately carved from the surrounding bedrock with such precision that I would have expected to see some sign of life inhabiting the place. Even as we stood upon the cliffs high above the city, looking down into the valley far beyond our reach, not one tiniest sign of movement was seen. All the temples and pillared buildings built with such care; all the winding pathways leading to and from the city, leading to the canals of water that were weaved throughout the entirety of the city were all empty. The buildings themselves appeared to be built recently; merely the architecture they were made from looked to be centuries old. Aeons, even.

I looked at Butters. He was scared, that much was certain. But there was that spark in his eyes, that glimmer that I couldn't recall being there when we had been growing up. If Butters wasn't going to back down, well then, goddammit, neither was I.

"Well?" I asked, channeling all of Mysterion's willpower. "Are you coming, or what?" Butters hesitated for the briefest of seconds before nodding and moving closer to my side. Together we followed the worn path through the brush that led to the outskirts of the ancient city.

As we got closer, I was able to pinpoint exactly what had been bothering me about the temples of this nameless city—the proportions of the entire city was off. Things were short where they should have been huge; towering, even. As we grew closer and closer it only became more apparent, and the uneasiness settling in the pit of my stomach seemed to grow with each step.

"Maybe we should just stay here," Butters suggested, slowing to a stop. "I'm sure Stan and Kyle are lookin' for us, right?"

"I doubt it." The frankness in my tone probably caught him off guard, for he let out a whimper, mashing his knuckles together in that awkward manner that only Butters could seem to get away with. "Look," I said, turning around to face him. "We can sit here waiting for help that's never going to come, or we can go over there," I pointed to the buildings not far away, "and get some fucking answers."

"W-well, alright then, I'm right behind ya," Butters nodded a little unconvincingly, but stepped forward nonetheless. We set off again, and the crushing weight of uneasiness began to lift once we took a few tentative steps into the actual city.

It was still so quiet, but I couldn't help feeling grateful that some shit-eating monsters hadn't come out and attempted to kill me yet. That would be just my luck, wouldn't it?

We could now see all the distorted features of the city. The dirt roads woven throughout the city seemed impossibly wide for the small size of each building. Each one was literally carved into the rock that had been resting here, making the temples and houses and everything else seem scattered and uneasily planned.

The whistling of the wind picked up around us as we traveled down one of the many divergent roads, kicking up dirt and sending it in all directions. I tried to remember what Henrietta told me once about the birthplaces of the Old Ones, the Gods. She mentioned a sprawling city by the sea, once thriving and full of life—but quickly abandoned when the sea dried up and turned into nothing more than a desert.

It was supposedly the city that Abdul Alhazred, the author of the Necronomicon, dreamed of the night before he wrote the couplet that started setting everything in motion for me back in fourth grade.

"That is not dead which can eternal lie,

And with strange aeons can even death may die."

Butters froze, glancing over at me with the strangest expression I'd ever seen on his face.

"...What?" He asked quietly, as if the wind its self was attempting to pick up on his words. "What did you say?" Had I said that out loud? I opened my mouth, unsure of how to respond—until a loud whirring filled the silence—so loud that both of us stopped to cover our ears in anguish.

"Jesus Christ!" I shouted, trying to squint through the sudden onslaught of dust and dirt that was flying around us. It was coming from Butters—from the ring on his hand. We had to figure out some way to get that damn thing off his hand before it got us both killed.

Our eyes met through the chaos—at least, I like to think they had—and I reached for him, tugging him by the arm so that he was flush against me. And wouldn't you know it, the ring quit it's screaming, and the wind died back down to a normal breeze.

We stood there for a second, both of us panting, clinging to one another in confusion.

"Wh-what the fuck was that?!" Butters shouted. He must've been afraid to detach himself from my side too quickly, judging from the way he kept his arm looped through my own while he attempted to tug the ring off his finger again. "I just—want to—go home!"

"Butters. Butters, dude! I don't think that's going to help anything, alright?" He frowned, looking down—at the ring or the ground, I wasn't sure which. I was instantly reminded of when we were kids, when he would make that same expression when we used to tell Butters that he wasn't cool enough to hang out with us. "Let's just keep going. Maybe... maybe someone is—"

The ground under our feet began to tremble, and it wasn't from the ring this time. From the way Butters was clutching my arm you'd think the earth was going to split from under us and send us falling into Hell. But I suppose what came crawling out of the temple nearby looked like it could have come straight from Hell.

I couldn't even begin to describe what fuck was coming toward us— it must have been whatever built this fucked up city, though. I only managed a quick glance before Butters was tugging me backwards. The monsters were almost crocodile-like with long, scaly bodies and their thin stubby legs were complete with almost human-like hands and feet. Just the sight of the creatures was making my stomach churn.

"K-Kenny! What are you waiting for?! We need to get out of here!" I stumbled along behind Butters, for some reason unable to make my feet move of their own accord. The creatures moaned after us, all of them coming out from the recesses of the city now that they knew they had company.

One temple—built directly into the face of the cliffs—drew Butters' attention more than the rest. There were no creatures lurking nearby to frighten him away, and since I wasn't thinking clearly enough to warn him against it, Butters dragged us inside.

He hesitated before going into the temple—after all, who knew for sure what we were going to find inside? It had been the only building we'd passed so far that had an opening tall enough for us to pass through without ducking. It was hardly tall enough for us to stand upright in the small cavern as it was.

Our footsteps echoed on the dull gray bedrock below our feet. Luckily enough, the temple was well light enough to see by with just the light from the open doorway pouring in. There were no lamps anywhere in the vicinity, not that I would have advised lighting them for fear of giving our hiding spot away.

Butters slowly loosened his grip on my arm as the both of us waited for the sounds of the creatures that were no doubt looking for us. When several seconds passed and nothing happened I began to relax.

"Hey Ken, look at these designs. Have you ever seen anything like 'em before?" Butters had wandered to the other side of the cavern, down on his knees as he peered at the carvings chiseled into the bedrock. I glanced back at the entrance one last time before squatting down beside Butters to have a look.

And goddammit, of course the carvings were familiar. They were something that Henrietta had shown me on more than one occasion; one that now told me exactly where we were.

Before I had a chance to tell Butters, a loud, furious snarling filled the area—almost dog-like in style—but this creature was definitely no dog I'd ever seen. Creeping through a lower doorway that led deeper into the cave was another one of the monsters, this one draped in golden silks. And looking much, much, angrier; if I was reading the emotion on its cat-like face.

It made a leap for us, snapping its elongated jaws menacingly. Fuck, this thing was going to rip us to shreds.

I did the only thing I could think of; I grabbed Butters by the scruff of his collar and hoisted him up, carrying him as fast and as far from the temple as I could. Butters wrapped his arms around my neck, his fingers clutching at my shirt in fear—and that's the last thing I can remember.

I woke up in my bed at home, a cold sweat covering my forehead and the feel of Butters Stotch in my arms still fresh in my mind.

 

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