Big thanks to my awesome Beta Druekee, who has been great with the dual task of beta-ing and helping me to Americanise things. Any errors are mine and mine alone. Also, big thanks to anyone who actually reads this through to the end — it's a mammoth fic which has been written in notebooks on many trains, living rooms, aeroplanes and hotels spanning two continents and through mysterious fever, but I promise you it's worth it.

Prologue: A Night in the Slammer
Chapter 1: Vivisection Now! — The Race to First Base
Chapter 2: Vivsection Now! — Jersey Rising
Chapter 3: Summer Awakening — A Rush of Blood to the Little Head
Chapter 4: Summer Awakening — Girls, Girls, Girls
Chapter 5: Summer Awakening — Summer Nights
Chapter 6: Summer Awakening — Bringing on the Heartbreak
Chapter 7: The Broflovski Effect — The Slow-Emerging Buttefly
Chapter 8: The Broflovski Effect — How to Have A Successful Not-Date
Chapter 9: The Broflovski Effect – The Epussany
Chapter 10: The Broflovski Effect – The Church of Ladies' Intimate Teachings
Chapter 11: The Broflovski Effect – The War Between CLIT and COCK
Chapter 12: The Play's The Thing – An Unholy Alliance
Chapter 13: The Play's The Thing – The Immaculate Conception
Chapter 14: The Play's the Thing – The Three and Three-Quarter Year Itch
Chapter 15: The Play's the Thing – Dangerous Liaisons
Chapter 16: The Play's the Thing – Reclaiming the Art of Keeping a Secret
Chapter 17: The Play's the Thing – Climax and Resolution
Epilogue: Intervention