Starting Anewwritten by ittsbutters - illustrated by hnbi and Lula
I just wanted to say that not transitioning doesn't mean you aren't trans and you are valid no matter what! The only reason that Marjorine refers to herself as he until she's transitioned at least a little bit because of the trauma of her father and how she was denied of her real gender for quite a while. Alongside that, I wanted to say that Red being referred to as she in the past is because of my own person experience with a trans* friend who refers to himself as she in the past. I felt these things were important to mention this. Thanks for considering my fic!
He didn't think that he had ever been so frightened in all of his life.
He was scared of the thoughts that he had running through his mind and what he was going to say to his parents later on that day. He was already grounded for bad mouthing them the day before from his stress thinking about the topic at hand. Now... Now he didn't think that he could hold it in anymore. He was going to come out to his parents as transgendered and hopefully the worst thing that they would do would be to ground him for years to come.
The only thing distancing him from the terrifying confession was the school bus and it was nearing his home in an alarming speed that the blonde didn't want to face. He was scared to death of coming out to his parents. They had never been very tolerant of his decisions and his father even hit him for it sometimes. He had no way of knowing what his father was going to do when he came out to him about his gender.
The blonde had already come up with a full name that he would go by as the opposing gender. He had been collected clothes for months, maybe even years, for when he started transitioning. He even had a makeup bag. He was ready for the transitioning process, probably more than he was of almost everything else.
His name as a boy was Leopold ‘Butters' Stotch. His prospective name as a girl would be Marjorine Leah Stotch. He liked the femininity of it and it brought back fond memories of his childhood before his parents had locked him in the basement for what had been weeks before his friends explained to them that it had all been a hoax. While the aftermath was anything but fond, playing with the girls and being one of them for the night... It was more liberating than anything he had done before then.
He stiffened when the bus stopped at the stop that he had gotten off at every day since the beginning of first grade. Because of his anxiety, the bus stop seemed more foreboding. It was like it was telling him to just keep it in another day. He didn't think that he could do that; he was bursting at the seams every time his parents said his name. He needed to get this out before it killed him. He had kept it inside for what felt like a century and it was so painful.
He almost tripped stepping off of the bus, earning him a few snickers from classmates who found making fun of him to be a load of fun. He didn't like that get to him. Today was not the day to let bullies tear him down. He needed to have his head as high as possible to handle whatever reaction he would get out of his parents. After all, if his dad was going to push him into a wall and scream at him, telling him he couldn't be a girl, he needed to build a wall to stunt the bullets before they could reach him.
Butters walked to his house with sweaty palms hiding in winter gloves, trying to mask the fact that he was shaking all over. His knees felt weak and his head felt like it was about five feet behind him along with his stomach. How was he even going to say it? Was he just going to just say it or what he going to build up to it? His parents didn't appreciate surprises so he was probably going to plan this accordingly. He needed to get his parents to come sit with him in the living room before he announced that he was transgendered.
Butters let out a shaky breath as he opened the front door to his home, trying his best not to suddenly seem like he was anxious. The smell of lavender and Gain laundry soap rushed over him. That was always how his house had smelled. It had been that way for as long as he could remember. He had never exactly found the smell relaxing, even though it should have been; maybe it would have been if it wasn't the smell of his home in particular. Anything associated with his house was automatically a little negative in the blonde's eyes.
"M-mom, dad, I'm home." He spoke up, knowing that his parents were both home. After all, they were always off on Fridays. This was their date night. Every Friday night, the Stotch parents went out to eat and left Butters home alone to clean the house.
Butters walked into the kitchen, where he found both of his parents. His father was reading the paper and his mother was making something, probably dinner for him before they went out to some nice restaurant. "Hi, sweety." His mother said with a smile on her face. Linda Stotch had never really been the harsh one of his two parents.
"H-hey mom..." Butters spoke really softly. He was sure that he looked pale as a ghost. He was scared to death of telling his parents. What were they going to do? They would be sore with him, he was sure. It wouldn't just be acceptance, that he was almost certain of. He let out a nervous sigh and sat down at the table across from his dad. "H-hey, I-I got somethin' I've been needin' to tell you for a while..."
Stephen folded his paper and looked at Butters with his brown eyes, "What did you do this time, boy?"
"Now, Stephen." Linda interjected, obviously picking up on Butters' nerves. She put her knife down and slipped into the seat beside her husband, "Butters, whatever it is, you know you can tell us." She said, looking at Stephen with a glare that told him to be reasonable for once.
"Um... Um, well..." Butters babbled out. His hands were shaking and he was sure that he was breaking out into a sweat. This was much more frightening than he had anticipated. He was scared of his parents and what they were going to say or do. "I-I... Th-this is real scary, I-I'm sorry." He mumbled out as he glanced at his hands to keep from having to look at his parents' curious expressions.
"Butters, we're here to help you. Anything you need, we are here." Linda said, looking at her son with a concerned expression.
Butters looked at his mom then over at his father, his heart racing. While his mother was kind about things like this and just in general, his father was the one that was probably going to go all crazy and yell and throw a fit. Butters could tell already and it was scaring him to even think about. "U-Um... So... S-so, I-I'm... Umm..." He cleared his throat. "I-I'm transgender..." He said, so fast once he got it out that he would be surprised if his parents actually heard him say it.
Linda looked surprised and confused at the same time. With everything that had gone down at the elementary school and transgendered rights, she definitely know what that meant; but her own son? "Butters, are you sure?"
Stephen hadn't even fully registered what his child had said yet, missing the words that he had spoken a few moments before.
"Y-yes, mom. I-I'm t-t-trans." Butters said with a small nod. He was almost completely certain that he was a girl. He had never fit in with the boys. He had always fit being with the girls more and this was just more affirmation. He wanted to be more feminine, look more feminine, and sound more feminine.
"What did you just say, mister?" Stephen said, finally catching on to what was going on around him.
"Stephen, please don't start this." Linda said, giving a sympathetic look to her son – or should she be saying daughter now?
"No son of mine is going to be disgusting tranny trash." Stephen said, looking like he was about to bust a vein in his forehead. "Butters, you either shut your mouth about this or get out of my house. If you aren't going to continue being my son, you cannot be my child at all!"
"Stephen!" Linda said, looking at her husband with a glaring expression.
"N-n-n-no, mom... H-he's right... I-I-I am ju-just disgusting tr-tranny trash." He said with a deep frown and looked down at the ground.
"So you are still going to continue to insist that you want to be a girl? If so, get out. I don't want you here." Stephen said, taking a step towards Butters.
"Stephen, stop." Linda said, her brows coming together as she hesitated to step between the two of them.
Stephen pulled back a hand and hit Butters hard across the face. Butters let out a gasp and hit the wall behind him really hard after his father punched him in the face. He really had nowhere to go. Why was he letting this happen? He could just let his father think that he was happy being a boy and he could stay at home. But really, was that what he wanted?
"Get out!" Stephen basically screamed at Butters, not even allowing him to go upstairs to grab anything, "I don't want you here anymore. Get out of my house!"
"Y-y-yes, sir." Butters said, getting himself stably on his feet once again. He was shaking and his face ached from the hit his father had gotten in. He couldn't really see straight but that didn't matter. What mattered was that he left before his father hit him yet again.
"Butters, wait—" Linda was interrupted by her husband stepping close to her, "Shut up, Linda. He's dead to us now." He said in a low tone.
Butters heard those words and they dug into his chest like a dagger, deeper and deeper the longer those words remained in his mind. He let out a deep sigh as he walked out of his house with nothing but his thin coat, gloves, and his school backpack. He didn't know where he was going to go or what he was going to do. He couldn't just go ask one of his classmates for help, especially since they would just reject him, no doubt. He had no real friends, no one who would accept him for who he was. He had no one at all that would take him in.
Butters walked the cold sidewalks of South Park, shaking a little bit as the cold rested chilled against his flesh. He had no ideas for a place he could go and he didn't have any money. What was he going to do? He felt like trash that had been thrown out. The cold made the developing black eye burn with an uncomfortable searing that he wish he could make go away.
The blonde was beginning to feel stiff the more he walked around the same three or four blocks, unsure of what he was going to do. He knew that no one from school was going to let him stay at their houses, especially with the fact that he was nothing but tranny trash. His father was right. Why did he think that letting this secret out was a good idea?
The snow began to fall harder and the temperature started to drop. He began feeling more cold and he didn't know what he was going to do. Was he going to freeze in the Colorado night? Was that his fate after all of this?
Butters walked by a lit up convenient store, one that had opened pretty recently. He slipped inside, relieved for even just a single moment away from the biting wind of the developing blizzard outside. He just stood around for a moment or two before the clerk spoke to him, "Hey kid. Are you gonna buy somethin'?"
"O-o-o-oh, no sir... I-It's just real cold outside and I-I wanted..." Butters looked really nervous. "I-I'll leave, I-I'm sorry." He said, not waiting even a moment before he stepped back outside into the growing winds of the storm that was building. It was very cold and he really didn't know what he was going to do. It was only seven in the evening and he was already caving. Butters wasn't made to be homeless.
He walked behind the convenient store, hoping to find a place he could hide that would shield him from the biting gusts of wind and the wet snow. He found a mattress that wasn't completely covered in snow, angled perfectly so that the building was blocking some of the blizzard. Right beside that was a dumpster that was also acting as a little bit of a shield. It didn't smell the best but it was probably better than walking out in the snow storm any longer.
Butters sat down, shaking a little as he leaned against the wall, the brick surprisingly warm. He held himself in a ball, trying to keep himself from freezing. After a little while like that, he ended up laying down, shivering and using his backpack as something to cover his cold, wet feet from getting covered in even more snow.
Once the wind died down, Butters felt warmer and ended up drifting into a small dazed state that was like sleep, but not actually sleeping.
The blonde was awoken by someone shaking him and it was light outside. "Nngh, hmmm." Butters mumbled in his confused state. His whole body hurt and he felt like he had been hit by a train. Where was he even? What had happened to leave him in the situation that he was in?
"Butters! Butters, wake up!" A familiar voice said, getting Butters to open his eyes. He immediately recognized the other as Kenny. "Butters, what the hell are you doin' outside like this?"
The smaller blonde let out a small noise before blinking and looking around. He was partially covered in snow and all of himself that he could see was wet. How long had he been there like that? They had always been told to be careful of staying in the cold too long because of a risk of frostbite. "A-am I dead?" Butters' question was real, since he knew that sleeping where he had was stupid. He could lose hands and feet because of this.
Kenny looked surprised at the question and shook his head, "No, you're not dead. But you gotta get outta this cold. Here." The taller blonde began taking off his parka before lifting Butters a little and pulling it around him. "You're comin' home with me. Right now." He said, putting his arms under the boy's back and knees and picking him up.
Butters, who was still feeling a little confused after just waking up, looked at Kenny and shook his head, "N-n-no, Ken. I-I'm nothin' but a good for nothin' dirty tranny." He said, remembering why he was in the snow. His father had kicked him out the day before for being transgendered.
"Tranny? Who the fuck said that to ya?" Kenny said, looking a little angry at the thought. "And why would they even say that?"
"M-m-m-my dad... C-c-cuz I came out as trans yesterday after school.." Butters said in a small voice. "I-I bet you're real grossed out with me too, huh?"
Kenny looked at Butters, stopping in his tracks. "Not at all, Butters. If that's how you feel, then it's great you're expressin' yourself and your dad's a fuckin' dick for puttin' you out in that blizzard last night."
Butters looked away from Kenny's face. He wasn't used to anyone accepting him for who he was, no matter what went on. "B-b-but I-I'm disgustin'." He said in a whisper.
"To your father. Butters, you're a good kid. Your dad's a fuckin' jerk." He said as he started walking again.
After what Kenny said, the conversation died down into silence and the only sound between them was the wind blowing through frozen branches and Kenny's snow boats kicking and crunching the snow below them. The silence remained until they got to the outside of the McCormick home.
"Can you walk, Butters?" Kenny asked softly. "I can put you down now if you want." He said, hoping that the other hadn't gotten injured from sleeping outside like he had. Kenny was really worried since he knew that there was little that they could do if he had gotten hurt since Butters' father would probably fabricate a lie about Butters running away or something to protect himself and his own dickish behavior.
Butters looked hesitant but nodded, "M-maybe?" He said with a small nod. He was beginning to feel his toes again now that he didn't have snow on his feet. That alone was promising for the life of his feet.
Kenny studied Butters' face for a moment before nodding, "I'll put you down but if you feel like you're gonna fall, let me know." He said, looking like he was actually really worried about it. He slowly lowered Butters down feet first, keeping his hands behind the blonde to ensure that Butters wouldn't fall to the ground if his feet failed him.
Butters carefully put his weight on his feet and stood there for a second, his feet feeling sore with the weight of his body on them. He nodded after a moment, "I-I think I-I'm okay." He said, straightening himself out a little bit. He felt nervous about the fact that Kenny was being so nice to him despite the fact that Butters was nothing but a troublemaker.
"Only if you think so." Kenny said with a small shrug as he opened the front door to his house. His mom was on the couch, asleep and letting out small sounds of breathing. His dad was nowhere immediately visible. After a long moment, Kenny signaled for Butters to come in. The house wasn't that warm but it was better than outside and it instantly caused a painful tingling in Butters' fingers.
"I-I'm sorry..." Butters mumbled quietly, looking upset at the fact that he was probably really bothering the taller blonde near him.
Kenny looked at Butters and shook his head, "There's no reason for you to apologise." Kenny said, certainly. He guided the petite boy to his room and shut the door. "Okay, I really want to know everythin' that went down and why I found you sleepin' behind the convenient store."
Butters looked down, rubbing his fingers a little bit to try and get the tingling to stop. "I-I-I, um..." He was scared of telling Kenny. What if Kenny got really mad at him? What if Kenny hit him? That wasn't really like Kenny to hit someone, but... Butters was so scared and feeling distrusting that he really couldn't be too sure.
Kenny noticed right away that Butters was acting just like his younger sister Karen did when she had just been hit by one of their parents. "Butters, I'm not gonna hurt you. You can tell me anythin'." He said, hoping that any form of vocal confirmation would help Butters, even if only for just a second. "This is a safe space." He said softly, knowing that Butters was actually a pretty frightened kid.
Butters looked down and nodded a little bit. He was scared to death about saying anything since his own big mouth was what had gotten in him this mess to begin with. "W-w-well.. I-I got off the bus yesterday... A-and I told both of my parents th-that I'm trans... A-and my dad freaked out. H-he told me to get out if I insisted on not bein' his son... H-he punched me in the face too..." He said quietly, sure that he had a nice bruise on his face to reflect that. "A-and I was real scared of askin' anyone about stayin' at their houses... C-cuz no one likes me... a-and I found that place that was a small cubby away from the snow... I-I guess I fell asleep after bein' there for a while..."
Kenny looked sincere as he listened to Butters tell him what had happened. "Oh, Butters..." He spoke softly. "If you ever need somewhere to stay... My house's not the best, but the doors are always open to you." He said, looking at the thin, bruised boy. After a moment, it dawned on Kenny, "Wait, if you're trans, do you want me to use more feminine pronouns? Do you want me to use a different name?"
Butters was surprised by how kind Kenny was being. "O-only if you're comfortable with it... I-I don't wanna be a burden..." He said softly. When the other asked about his pronouns and his name, Butters thought about it for a moment. For someone to refer to him with femininity in mind... That sounded wonderful, "I-I'd like that... A-and I-I wanna be called..." The name he chose was embarrassing because it was the name that the boys had given him when he dressed as a girl to get the fortune teller. That was the first time Butters ever felt so comfortable in his own skin. "Marjorine." He said, surprisingly not even stuttering when he said the name.
Kenny was a little surprised at the other's choice of a name. He would have assumed that being called that name would be hard for the smaller blonde since there was some abuse that came with that name. However, Kenny respected the other's choices. "Marjorine. I like it." Kenny smiled at her. He wanted to make sure that Marjorine felt as comfortable as possible, especially since so much shit had gone down for her in just a day. "Well, Marjorine, I wanna make you as comfortable as possible. No one deserves to be put out on the streets just cuz they wanna feel like themselves."
Butters felt a little euphoric at being referred to as Marjorine. It brought him a happiness that he never thought was even possible. "Th-thank you, Kenny." Butters spoke softly. He wanted to cry. So much had happened and he didn't know if he was going to be able to handle it. He let out a nervous sigh and he could feel his tears start to tease his eyes. He didn't want to cry in front of Kenny when the blonde had just been so nice to him but the realization that his family had kicked him out and he might possibly never sleep in his bed again or be able to happily eat dinner with his family again.... It was a little bit devastating.
Kenny didn't say anything when he noticed that the smaller blonde was beginning to tear up. He could definitely imagine that this was all very hard for Marjorine to bare, especially since nothing had really changed in her life that he could see. She had lived exactly the same her entire life. Instead of telling her to stop crying or anything, he just wrapped his arms around her and held her tightly to him. "It'll be okay, alright Marj?" Kenny whispered, rubbing his hand on Marjorine's short hair.
Butters didn't fully start crying until Kenny embraced him. He let out a sob and clung to the other, tears beginning to run down his face. He didn't say anything, feeling like his chest was being crushed from the stress of everything that was suddenly so violently thrust upon him because of his own mistakes.
Butters clung to Kenny like he was a lifeline, trying to keep his sobs quiet as they stood together, in the middle of Kenny's bedroom. It looked strange, he was sure, but he just needed to break down. This was all way too stressful for him to even grasp. He didn't know what he was going to do. Could he really deal with being trans? Maybe he should just give up on living as a girl, even though he felt like he was meant to be a girl. After all, that required money that he didn't have and wouldn't have. What was he going to do? He still needed to go to school too and face all of his classmates. How would they react to him coming out as trans? Would he be beaten and bullied because of it?
Kenny kept rubbing her head, trying to relax Marjorine. Kenny knew that she didn't deserve any of this. She had dealt with such hardships and no one even knew that there was anything going on in the smaller blonde's head. Most people thought that Marjorine was just clueless to how horrible her homelife was and didn't realise when people bullied her. However, Kenny could see it in her eyes and feel it in how sadly she cried that this was not just crying because of this one turn of events in her life. She was crying over everything.
Butters had never really been ignorant to how horrible her life at been. He had simply acted ignorant in the hopes that maybe things would get better. However, this was just evidence that he was not meant to live happily. He was the bullied, the abused, the hated kid. Nothing was going to change that, no matter what. There was no escaping it either.
Kenny spoke after a long moment, "Ya know, Marjorine... I know that you've been through some hard shit and... I believe that you really deserve to be the beautiful girl you're gonna be." Kenny's words were sincere and made the small blonde nuzzle into his white t-shirt.
Butters couldn't come up with a good reply to what Kenny had just said so he just pressed his face into the other's chest. He wanted to argue and say that he would not make a good girl and say a bunch of negative things about himself but he learned from a young age that that sort of thing really isn't even worth saying because it was just a waste of words. He tried to stick to the ‘if you don't have anything good to say, don't say anything at all' philosophy. So far, that had been what helped Butters through a lot of issues in his life.
Kenny didn't say anything else, just letting Marjorine cry on him. He held onto her so that maybe she would feel more comfortable. He knew that she needed to just let all of this out because it was a lot. She had probably been holding it all in for quite a while and Kenny didn't want to interrupt that.
After what felt like forever, Butters began to sober up from his sobs. It felt like he had been crying for at least an hour. Maybe he had been. Kenny had been extremely patient with him and making sure that he was feeling as comfortable as he could be. He pulled away from the taller blonde after a moment and looked up at Kenny, sure that his eyes were rimmed red. "Th-th-thanks, Kenny..." He said quietly, his voice sounding pathetic.
Kenny smiled at Marjorine, glad that she was calming down, "No problem, Marj. I'll always be here if you need a shoulder to cry on. That's my job as a friend, right?" He said, rubbing her arm a little bit. "Do you wanna sit? We've been standin' here for a while."
Butters looked at Kenny, forgetting about the fact that they had actually been standing as long as they had, "Y-yeah, okay." He said quietly. He was honestly feeling quite a bit better since he had been able to cry about everything. After all, he wasn't allowed to cry at home, at least not in a way that his father could hear so he regularly cried into a pillow to silence himself. It was never a relieving experience. It almost always ended with him falling asleep more miserable than he had been before he even went to his room.
Kenny guided Marjorine to his bed before sitting down beside her. "Are you feelin' any better?" Kenny asked, hoping that the girl beside him felt even just a little bit more relaxed. "This is a judge free zone. I bet even my parents'll be cool with it. I mean... There's not a lot of food here and the house gets cold at night and stuff... But if you want to stay here, I'm sure no one'll be opposed." Kenny said, realizing that he had been jumping to the gun by assuming that Marjorine was going to be staying.
Butters nodded, "I-I-I'll stay, if no one minds... I-I-I mean.... I-it's here or that mattress again."
"And I'm not lettin' you do that again." Kenny said, affirmatively. He wasn't going to let Marjorine go and sleep in the snow again. There was nothing that Marjorine could do to convince him to let her go back out there again unless she could show him that she had someplace to stay.
"I-I don't wanna do that again.... I-I feel real sick from that..." Butters said, feeling stiff and icky from those few hours. After a moment or two, Butters looked a little confused, "W-what time is it?" He didn't even know what time it was, since he hadn't been able to look at a clock since the night before.
Kenny looked at Marjorine for a second before reaching into his parka pocket, despite the fact that it was on her. He pulled out his phone from the pocket and checked the time. "Just about noon." He said with a small nod.
Butters looked a little surprised. "Wow, really?" He said in a surprised tone. "I-I never sleep that late..." He observed.
Kenny nodded a little at the smaller blonde beside him, "Well, you were in the cold." He said. In Kenny's experiences, when he got too cold, he would sleep longer because his body was trying to preserve itself. "And school was out today cuz of the blizzard last night. It knocked the school building's power out."
Butters looked relieved at the thought that he hadn't blatantly missed school because of what had happened the night before. After all, being punched in the face was really no excuse.
Kenny smiled at her, "So. Are you gonna tell everyone at school about you bein' a girl or are you gonna stay quiet about it?" He asked. He wanted to know so that he would know whether or not to use feminine pronouns around the guys or not.
Butters was worried about coming out to the guys and everyone at school, but really... If they hit him for it, he deserved it. So, telling everyone was probably his only option, especially since there was likely going to be rumours flying around of him being kicked out and living at Kenny's soon enough. South Park was small enough that nothing really flew under the radar once it's even been told to one person. "I-I think I should probably come out... I-It'll just make things easier."
The taller blonde nodded at the thought, "I'll fuck them up if they start actin' like dicks to you. That's the last thin' that you need." Kenny said, as he thought about how his friends would respond to the other being transgendered. After all, they had mostly responded well when Red came out as transgendered, so if they were a dick to Marjorine just because she was who she was... He would probably blow up at them.
Butters was sure that he blushed at the other's defensiveness. He really didn't deserve it, since he was just causing more problems than anything on a regular basis. "Th-thanks... U-um, do you have anythin' that I can change into? A-a-and I-I'm gettin' your coat all wet." He said, looking down at the orange parka that Kenny had put on him when they were still outside.
Kenny hopped up from the couch, "Oh, yeah. Definitely. I may have some old pants around here that'll be small enough for you..." Kenny spoke as he went over to his own broken down dresser and started opening a drawer, digging through it to find a shirt and some pants that would fit Marjorine without completely falling off. "And I can loan you some boxers if you're okay with that?" Kenny wasn't sure of what was okay and what wasn't with Marjorine at that exact moment since there was a whole gender barrier there, even though their bodies were similar.
"Th-that'd be nice." Butters said with a small nod. He really wanted out of the wet, cold clothes. He wanted to just be slightly warmer and dry, no matter what he was wearing.
Soon enough, Kenny managed to find some clothes that Marjorine could change into. After all, he didn't expect the girl to suffer in the wet clothes for any longer than she had to. "Here ya go. Do you want me to turn away?" He asked, not really knowing what the gender barriers were at that point and if Marjorine considered them different despite them being the same biological gender.
Butters shook his head, "N-no, you don't have to." He said softly. He appreciated how much Kenny was trying to make him feel so comfortable. It was admirable, especially with everything that had just happened all around him. He let out a slow breath as he slipped Kenny's parka off and took if his very wet shirt off. He didn't mind if Kenny looked at him since it wasn't like they hadn't been naked together before.
Kenny ended up still looking away. It was polite not to watch a girl change, even if she didn't seem bothered, right? Even though Marjorine said that it was okay, he didn't feel like it was okay. He really wanted Marjorine to be as comfortable as possible and he felt like looking away would really help in some way.
Butters quickly finished getting all of his wet clothes off before tapping Kenny's shoulder, "I-I'm done changin'." He said, as he held his other outfit. "Wh-what do we do with these?" He asked, not sure what the McCormick family did with wet clothes.
"Oh, we can put those on the line outside." Kenny said, taking the clothes, "I'll just put them in the bathroom for now. I don't really want to go out to the line right now." He left the room for a second before coming back to his room and looking at Marjorine. "So..." He didn't really know what to say. He wanted to know more about his friend's feelings but he didn't know if Marjorine would want to talk about something that was still so fresh in her mind.
Butters rubbed his arms and sat down on the bed slowly. "S-so what are we gonna do now?"
Kenny thought about that question before he pointed at the TV, "We can watch some movies. I have a bunch of DVDs that I've been collectin' for a while. Maybe that'll help with acquaintin' you to my house?"
Butters smiled a little bit and nodded. Having something to watch to distract his mind from the rushing thoughts that he was suffering through would be helpful. "Th-that works!" He said, moving a little bit on the bed to make room for Kenny.
They ended up spending the entire day watching movies, Kenny holding and comforting Marjorine every single time she started getting upset again over the thought that she couldn't go back to her home. He knew that she was going through a lot and he didn't expect just a few movies to make it all better.
Once night time rolled around, Kenny let out a yawn and looked at Marjorine, "So, do you wanna sleep in here with me? Or you could sleep in Karen's room, if that'd make you more comfortable?" Kenny wanted whatever was best for his transgendered friend.
Butters thought about it before speaking, "I-it's okay if I stay in here, right?" It wasn't anything against Karen, he just thought that he was going to be more comfortable if he stayed with Kenny. He knew Kenny and he also knew that the blonde wouldn't be upset with him if he ended up crying in the night, which was extremely likely.
"Yup, perfectly okay. I got enough room on my bed if you wanna sleep up here. There're rats on the ground and no pretty lady like yourself deserves sleepin' on a dirty floor like that." Kenny said, signaling to his bed, which was a full sized mattress. He had found it in someone's trash, but there didn't seem to be anything wrong with it so it belonged to him now.
"I-If you don't mind..." Butters said softly. He didn't want to be bothering Kenny with the blonde already doing so much for him. Kenny had even gone and talked to his parents and they accepted him into their house, just warning him of the lack of food.
"Not one bit." Kenny said, grinning at her. "Do you wanna sleep next to the wall or the outside?" He offered. He tended to sleep in the middle when he was by himself, so he wasn't too attached to either side.
Butters hesitated before speaking, "Th-the outside probably." He said with a head nod. He would probably need to go to the bathroom throughout the night and he would be too worried he would wake up Kenny if he was against the wall.
Kenny simply nodded when the other said that he wanted to sleep on the outside of the bed, "That works for me." He said with a head nod. The fact that Marjorine was having to stay in a strange house that sadly was nowhere near as nice as her previous living arrangements already made Kenny feel bad enough. He wanted her to be as comfortable as possible in this unfamiliar place where she would be staying.
They both got ready for bed, which mostly consisted of Kenny rushing around the McCormick house, pulling together sufficient bedding for the both of them. Normally, Kenny used his own parka as sort of a blanket, but he had nothing to give to Marjorine as bedding so he dug around and found an old blanket in a box in the closet. Luckily it didn't smell like rats had used it as a nest, so he gave it to the blonde for the night.
"Th-thanks so much, Ken. For all of this... I-I probably already said that a few times but I-I'm real grateful." Butters said as he held the blanket around him as the Colorado weather began to seep into the house and make everything cold. They were both in bed, curled up to rest.
"No problem, buddy. Let's get some rest, yeah? Tomorrow's gonna be hard." He said softly as he rolled over, "Goodnight." He mumbled softly.
"G'night." Butters mumbled softly, though he didn't know how much rest he was actually going to get, since he was scared to death of what was to come tomorrow. Why had he decided to come out to everyone?
Butters woke up before Kenny, not having gotten a lot to sleep to begin with. He had had anxiety the entire night, his fears of coming out to his classmates being lived through in his head over and over again. He was very fearful that they would reject him just like his parents had. He was scared of being put in that situation. What would he do if even his classmates exiled him? He would still have to go to school, despite that. Would that mean that he would have to deal with being hurt and picked on every day?
When Kenny woke up, Butters pretended like he hadn't dealt with all of those concerns. He smiled at his first and spoke, "Good mornin'." He said, looking at the taller blonde who was sitting up and rubbing his eyes.
"Mornin'." Kenny replied, stretching after he rubbed his face. He scooted himself out of bed before looking at Marjorine. "Do you need the bathroom first?" He asked, making sure that she didn't need to go get prepared or something before school.
"N-no, I'm fine." Butters said as he pushed the thin blanket off of himself and ignored the fact that his feet were very cold. He rubbed his toes in his warmer palms for a moment or two before stepping out of Kenny's bedroom.
Butters hadn't been in the McCormick home since he was young and he had been too disoriented the night before to notice that anything had changed. While the house was still very rundown, it looked like they were definitely trying. The walls had ducktape and badly applied plaster on them to help with the holes that were there. Even the ceiling had ducktape on it, some of which was beginning to fall down from having been up there to prevent leaks for so long.
Butters' attention was broken by Kenny's mom coming from the kitchen and smiling at him. "Hey, you must be Kenny's little friend."
"Umm, y-yes, ma'am." Butters said with a small head nod, though he was a little anxious about talking with either of Kenny's parents.
"Are you hungry? We don't got a lot of food here, but I got a few frozen waffles cooked." She offered, which made Butters feel more welcomed already.
Butters, not wanting to be rude, nodded and took the offer. Right as he started to the kitchen, Kenny was coming out of the bathroom. "What's that I hear about waffles?" He said, looking pretty hyped about breakfast.
The taller blonde quickly guided Butters into the kitchen, making him immediately feel less worried about accepting Mrs. McCormick's offer. He plopped down at the old, broken table and looked pretty excited for food.
Butters, feeling less comfortable in the home, sat down slowly and didn't immediately go reaching for the waffles. Instead, he waited until he was given permission to reach for them.
Kenny was already stuffing a waffle into his mouth when he pointed at the plate, "Get you a few, Marj." He said, almost eating the one he was holding whole.
Butters carefully grabbed one and took a small bite. His stomach was twisting and turning in anxiety. There was a lot going on; food was one of the last things on his mind.
After Kenny ate his waffle, he noticed Marjorine's anxiety and moved a little so he could put a hand on her shoulder. "It'll be okay. Everyone'll be acceptin', I'm sure." He nodded, "And if not, I'll kick their skulls in."
"What are you goin' on ‘bout, Kenny?" Mrs. McCormick asked as she finished washing off the counter, like she had actually made a full course breakfast.
Kenny looked at Marjorine to make sure it was okay for him to tell his mom her story. The smaller blonde nodded a little so Kenny started talking. "Well, mom. My friend here is trans. She's just startin' on all the stuff, ya know?" He said before ungracefully tacking to the end of his statement, "Oh, that reminds me. Can she stay here? Her parents kicked her out."
Mrs. McCormick looked a little surprised about having all of that thrust onto her. Despite that, she nodded, "If you get past our good-for-nothin' house and Kenny's good-for-nothin' father, than I don't care. What do you want me to call ya, young lady?" She remembered that the kid's name had been Butters before, but that was not a very feminine name. "Didn't Kenny refer to ya as Marj? Is that short for somethin'?"
Butters looked down at the table, feeling self-conscious about the fact that his entire problem and identity being put out on the table like that. "Y-yeah... I-it's short for Ma-Marjorine." He mumbled, feeling really nervous about all of what was going on around him. It was really scary to have all of the thoughts that he had in his mind exposed, especially since he had been keeping the thoughts inside for so long. Having those thoughts spoken was still strange and frightening.
Mrs. McCormick nodded, "That's a nice name." She said as she threw away the box for the frozen waffles. "Anyway, it don't matter if you're a boy or a girl here. Kenny's had his identity crisis' himself. Us McCormicks are acceptin' folk." She said, walking closer to Butters before patting him on the back.
Butters blushed and nodded a little bit, nibbling on the waffle that he was holding in an attempt to avoid having to say anything. It was true that the McCormick family was being really kind to him for no other reason than because they could. That was something that Butters wasn't used to and that was probably why he was feeling so uncomfortable, or at least a good part of it.
Kenny grinned at Marjorine and spoke up, "See, told ya my family was pretty cool. Anyway, we oughta get ready for school." He said, getting up from the table.
Butters nodded. It really didn't matter what he wore to school at that point because it was all going to be a little baggy on him, especially considering the fact that he was going to have to wear Kenny's old clothes. That alone seemed a little strange and maybe even a bit embarrassing.
The smaller blonde got up from the table after forcing himself to finish the waffle. He thought that it would have been horribly rude for him to have not eaten what Mrs. McCormick had prepared for him, especially since their money and food were scarce.
Going back to Kenny's room, the taller of the two blondes pulled out a few choices of shirts for Butters to wear but only having one pair of pants that might even possibly stay up on the smaller kid. "This is all I got that might fit you." He said, shrugging a little bit. Since most of the clothes that Kenny had had to begin with had been from the Goodwill or passed down from his brother, he was lucky he had anything that was older.
Butters wasn't picky though and just grabbed the plain shirt and dealing with the pants. "I-I'm gonna go to the bathroom to put this on..." He said, his mindset already adjusting a little towards the fact that they were two different genders.
He quickly used the restroom and changed, the anxiety for school hitting him like a train all over again. He was going to be rejected, he could just feel it. Everything about what was going on was going to end badly for him. He stepped out of the bathroom and back towards Kenny's room, trying to hide his anxiety.
Kenny wasn't easily fooled though and immediately picked up on the other's anxious behavior. "Marjorine, look at me. It's gonna be okay." He said, putting his hand on the girl's shoulder. "If anyone fucks with you, I'll fuck them up. You deserve this happiness, okay?"
It was like Kenny knew the kinds of things that Butters thought to himself. The fact that he could just know... It was amazing. "I-I'm just scared about school.... Wh-what if the guys all gang up on me..?"
"Then I'll fuck ‘em up." Kenny said bluntly as he picked up his own backpack and then Marjorine's. "C'mon. It'll be okay." He said, rubbing Marjorine's shoulder one more time before starting out of the house.
Butters nodded a little bit, trying to calm down. "D-do you think we could walk to school...?" It was really silly that they had a bus route to school anyway. After all, the school was only about four blocks from anyone's houses except Token, who was the only one who didn't ride the bus.
Kenny looked at the smaller blonde before nodding, "Yeah, that's fine by me." He knew a thing or two about being anxious and the horrible gut wrenching fear that came with that, even if whatever the fear was about wasn't even that bad. This was something worth that amount of fear and Kenny could only imagine. He compared to the feeling of knowing he was about to die, since that was probably the worst feeling he had ever had.
Butters was quiet after that, his heart pounding heavily in his chest. He didn't know the day was going to play out and he hoped that it wasn't anything like what happened with his parents. He didn't want to be shunned by everyone, even though that looked like that could very well be a possibility.
While Butters felt like his fears were definitely a real possibility, he felt it was also rather irrational. Mr. Garrison, who had ironically followed their class all the way up to high school, had been a trans-woman once and no one was that bothered by that. Even though Mr. Garrison definitely didn't pass well, he had still had sex reassignment surgery and had a feminine physique and no one gave him too much hate. Maybe the same was possible with Butters. Maybe.
Once they arrived at school, Butters was feeling nauseous and like there was no way that he could go inside. His anxiety was through the roof and he couldn't breathe very well. "K-Kenny... I-I wanna just stay out here..." He spoke quietly.
Kenny put his hand on Marjorine's shoulder and rubbed the area just a little bit. "It'll be okay, Marj. I'll protect ya, remember." He said, hoping that his comfort was helpful at all to the shaking blonde.
Butters just let out a shaky breath and nodded, trying to believe the word that Kenny spoke. It was all so scary and really overwhelming. He wasn't so sure that everything was going to work out well. However, he followed Kenny into the school slowly, hoping that he would be okay in the end.
Kenny didn't say anything to Marjorine, hoping that being silent was the right choice. He didn't want to be making Marjorine feel even worse, but he felt like talking about what was about to happen would just make everything that much worse.
Butters was shaking as they walked into their classroom, which felt foreign despite the fact that he saw the room every single day and had for the last year. Somehow, it seemed different. Everything was feeling like that lately though. He looked over at Kenny for a second before glancing at Mr. Garrison, who was sitting at his desk, writing something down. "I-I-I'm gonna go talk to Mr-Mr. Garrison first..." He mumbled. He hated that he and Kenny didn't sit next to each other in class once the day started.
Kenny just nodded and gave him a small pat on the shoulder again, "You can do this. I believe in you."
Butters wasn't so sure of himself but he needed to push himself. This was just how things were and he needed to come out to everyone or he was going to end up being crushed by his emotions. He took in a small breath before he walked up to Mr. Garrison's desk, "H-h-hey, M-Mr. Garrison... I-I wanted to talk with you ‘bout somethin'." He mumbled, sure that his already messy speech was that much more messed up from his anxiety.
"Well, sure, Butters." Mr. Garrison said, without even looking up from his paper.
Butters shuffled on his feet before speaking again, "I-It's kinda important..." He said, hoping that Mr. Garrison would look at him, even though he wasn't sure if that was just going to make things worse or better.
Finally the nearly bald teacher put his pen down and looked up at the small blonde, "What is it, Butters?"
Butters immediately felt pressured the moment that Mr. Garrison looked at him and wasn't sure anymore if him looking at him was any better. "We-well... U-um, well..." He mumbled quietly, his heart beating through his chest.
Mr. Garrison tapped his foot in an annoyed manner. He rarely had a lot of patience for his students.
"O-okay... I-I just gotta say it." Butters pep-talked himself before speaking again, looking up at Mr.Garrison, "I-I'm transgendered. A-a-and I-I wanted to take a minute at the beginnin' of class to c-c-come out to the class."
That actually got Mr. Garrison's attention. Unlike Red, who had just showed up one day dressed in clothes that made her pass right away, here was Butters, who was anything other than passing as the opposing gender and telling him this. "Are you sure?" He asked, not caring how insensitive that question had come out.
Butters nodded, suddenly feeling his validity being taken away from him, something that he had been fearing since he first figured out about his gender.
"That's a really hard path to go down, Butters. But if you think that you're trans, then go right ahead. I'm not gonna stop you from tellin' everybody, I just want you to know that this isn't some fun game or nothin'." Mr. Garrison said, looking down at his paper again before pushing it a little bit out of the way. He grabbed a sticky note and started scribbling on it for a second before offering it to Butters, "I've been there and done that. If you need any advice or anythin', I'm all for helpin' when I can."
Butters was about to thank Mr. Garrison when the bell rang for the students to sit down. The blonde's heart was racing through his chest and he wanted to chicken out last second. Before he had that opportunity though, Mr. Garrison got up from his desk and began speaking to the students who were settled in their seats. "Good mornin' class. Today's gonna be a little different than normal as we have a student that wants to make a really important announcement and you little assholes need to be respectful about it and listen." The balding teacher said before signaling to Butters and stepping aside.
The blonde quietly straightened himself out a little bit before rubbing his knuckles together. He let out a nervous sigh, trying to keep his stomach from doing flips. He knew that everyone was staring at him and if he didn't get what he needed to say out of the way, everyone was just going to keep staring at him. "H-h-hey, everybody.... S-so... I-I been keepin' somethin' in for a while an-and I think now's the best time to j-just come out and say it..." Butters started, his speech shaky and his pausing just leaving room for a comment.
"You mean you're gay? We all already knew that, Butters." Cartman spoke out before the blonde could continue. His rude comment caused the rest of the class to erupt into laughter.
"Eric, you shut your fuckin' trap and let Butters talk." Mr. Garrison said, hitting his hand on the wood of his desk.
The bigger brunette crossed his arms but didn't make another comment, glaring a little bit at Butters.
The petite trans-girl couldn't look at anyone in the class after the mockery Cartman had made of situation, so he opted for staring at the floor. "N-n-no... I-I'm transgendered..." Butters managed to say, even though his tone was weak and quiet.
The class was completely quiet, unable to come up with something to say. Even Cartman didn't speak any witty comments to make the small kid at the front of class feel any worse about the situation.
After a long silence, Butters began speaking quietly, "I-I-I wanted to come out to you guys s-s-so that it wouldn't s-s-seem so strange wh-when I start dressin' more femininely an-and stuff..." That was not the only reason, but the only thing he was willing to say in front of the class. He didn't want to admit sleeping at Kenny's in fear that it would cause the already harsh bullying to get worse.
"Thank you very much for sharin', Butters. From now on is there any other name or anythin' you want your classmates to try an' call you?" Mr. Garrison asked, knowing that Butters was probably too nervous to really remember everything that she was going to say.
"Um... Y-yeah, i-if you guys don't mind too much.... I-it'd be good if you could u-u-use female pronouns... A-a-and the name Marjorine." Butters felt so embarrassing speaking in front of everyone, especially mentioning that name.
A few whispers echoed throughout the room about what Butters wanted to be called, but no one really spoke out.
"Well okay than. If that's all you wanted to say than, Marjorine; take your seat." Mr. Garrison said, before walking up to the board and starting to write down problems and things like that on the board that wasn't going to matter in a couple of years.
The beginning of the day went with great anxiety and Butters felt like he was going to throw up the entire time. Lunchtime wasn't something that he was looking forward to. Not only was he not used to having a full course breakfast, he knew that people were going to bully him about everything that he spoke about that morning.
Lunch began and the first thing that happened was somewhat surprising to the blonde. He was immediately approached by Red, who was trans himself and had started the transitioning process and everything. "Hey, Marj. Is it okay that I call you that? Anyway, I just wanted to make sure that you knew that you have a friend in me. If you need someone to talk to about any of the trans stuff, just hit me up. I know some great support sites and a gender therapist in Denver that's great."
Butters nodded his head, feeling a little surprised by the support that he was receiving from everyone. first Mr. Garrison and now Red. They were both being great to him and it made him feel really accepted, despite everything that happened at home. "Th-th-thanks..." He mumbled quietly.
"Also, if you just need to talk about emotional shit or anything, I'm here, okay? Being trans is really hard, especially if the folks aren't accepting. I'm down for talking anytime, even if it's 3 am and you really just need to hear another person's voice." Red said, pressing a piece of paper into Butters' hand. It seemed as though the redhead had been planning to catch the blonde after class since he had come out.
Butters knew that he would never ever go out of his way if he was feeling bad at 3 am to call Red, since that would include bothering him, but that offer alone was very special to the blonde. "Th-thank you a-a lot." He said quietly, putting the paper in the same pocket as Mr. Garrison's number.
"No biggy. See you around, Marj." Red said, winking and walking away.
Butters let out a deep sigh, feeling really tired already and the day was only halfway over. So much was happening in such a small amount of time and the blonde wasn't sure that he could handle it.
It had been a couple of weeks and the school's gossip and teasing had died down quite a bit. With a support system consisting of Mr. Garrison, Kenny, and Red, Butters was pretty comfortable at school. However, home life with Kenny was really hard. Adjusting to one or less meals a day and yelling and screaming going on in the house a lot, Butters struggled. He didn't want to tell Kenny though, so he kept his mouth shut.
"Hey Ken." Butters said one day, as they both sat around the taller blonde's room, doing homework.
"Yup?" Kenny said, not even looking up from the essay that he was writing.
"Wh-what if I got a job?" Butters suggested, thinking about the fact that one more income in the McCormick family would help a lot.
Kenny looked up from the paper in front of him and at the girl sitting on the floor, "Are you sure? Working and school, on top of all of this other stuff?"
"W-well, I-I gotta get money somewhere to afford all of this an-and I'm costin' your family a real lot livin' here..." He said, thinking out loud. "I-I could apply for SafeWay and Subway. Th-they both work with students." He suggested.
Kenny didn't look too happy over the thought of Marjorine working, especially considering how stressed she could get so easily. However, what the other blonde was saying was true. It was going to be difficult to do anything with Kenny's sad income. Marjorine was sacrificing so much for her gender and to have that all taken from just because the McCormick family was poor... That was unfair. "I won't stop you if you think that you can handle it." He said softly.
Butters smiled and nodded, "I-I'm sure that I can handle it. I-I can do anythin' if I put my mind to it."
Kenny would never understand how Marjorine stayed positive through all of this. It was truly amazing. Kenny had never been particularly positive about anything, especially considering the way that he died and just started over and over again. It was really hard to be positive about anything when he had literally died from almost everything.
"I-I'll start applyin' right now. Y-your old laptop should be able to handle that kinda thing, right?" Butters asked, looking at his friend.
"Yeah, I think so." He said, pointing to the drawer where he kept his old laptop. It was beat up, very laggy, and generally outdated. It could do some basic stuff like job applications though.
Butters smiled and got up, pulling out the old thing and getting to work. He wanted to make sure that he could make some money and share it with the family who were helping him so much with everything.
"Do-do I look okay?" Butters asked Kenny as he adjusted the button up plaid shirt that Kenny had let him borrow. It was a little bit big on the more petite blonde, but it was the best to ‘nice clothes' that Kenny could find.
"You look great!" Kenny said, hoping that his enthusiasm would help with the other's anxiety even just a little bit.
It had taken only a day before Butters got a call from a business about a job and now he was preparing for work. He was scared and excited. The business that had ended up calling him was Tweek Bros. Coffee. It was a little surprising, considering the fact that Tweek had probably told his parents about Butters and his situation and yet here he was.
Butters was surprised though, since they had told him that he didn't even need to do an interview, he just needed to come in. It was really weird but maybe that was a good thing? He was worried. However, Butters was just a nervous person.
"So do you want me to walk you to Tweek Bros?" Kenny asked, as he looked at the girl who looked pale from anxiety.
"N-no, I should probably go alone. G-good first impressions and stuff, you know?" He said, running his fingers across his hair that Kenny had smoothed over with hair gel. "I-I don't wanna make ‘em think I can't do stuff alone... Th-this is a big opportunity."
Kenny nodded at the smaller blonde, "Yeah, you're right. It is. I really hope that this is really a job and not just them calling you in to tell you no or some bullshit." Kenny had actually had someone do that to him because of the whole event of businesses moving in around his house when he was ten.
Butters just nodded to what Kenny had to say. He didn't want to think about anything like that. If he did, then he just wouldn't even want to go in and find out what they wanted from him. He would end up letting his anxiety dictate him again. He let out a slow breath and looked at Kenny before tugging at the collar of his shirt for a second before nodding, "O-okay, I gotta go."
Kenny gave him a before nodding, "You can do this, Marj. It'll be great and you'll have a job and it'll all work out." He said, hoping that what he was saying was going to hold true.
Butters nodded before grabbing his coat and starting out into the cold. "I-I'll be back later." He said, his voice shaking more than normal.
The whole walk to Tweek Bros Coffee was filled with nothing but anxiety. Butters was scared to death about what Kenny mentioned and that they were really just having him come to get rejected. It was a really scary thought. However, the blonde had been facing a lot of fears in recent days and that needed to keep happening.
Once Butters got to the coffee shop, he took no time standing outside, knowing that that would just make him feel even worse. He let out a deep breath and walked into Tweek Bros. He was immediately greeted with the smell of coffee and scones and the sight of no people in the dining area of the café.
"Hello, Butters." Mrs. Tweak said, smiling from behind the counter. She quickly stepped from her post behind the register to come face to face with the petite blonde, "Would you like a cup of coffee or tea? I could get something really quickly before our little meeting?"
Butters looked around, struggling with eye contact, "Um, n-no, I'm okay." He said softly.
"Alright than. Let's get this meeting underway, right Richard?" She said, getting the attention of her husband, who had been heavily focused on cleaning a pot behind the counter.
He looked up from the mostly clean glass and then at Butters before putting the pot down, "Yes, that sounds nice." He said, washing his hands quickly before walking over to be nearer to the table that Mrs. Tweak had chosen for them to sit at.
Butters sat down at the table slowly, trying to fight his urge to rub his fists together like he often did when he was really nervous. He didn't want to seem as nervous as he was.
Mrs. Tweak reached over and rested her hand on his hands before sitting down in the seat next to him before speaking, "Don't feel so nervous, son. This isn't anything formal. We just wanted to talk with you about a few things that we've heard from Tweek before giving you this job."
Hearing that sentence didn't help him feel any less nervous; it made his stomach start twisting more aggressively, giving him nausea that he wasn't sure he could hide from his face.
She smiled at him, "Trust us, dear. It's nothing bad. In fact, we wanted to extend our support in any way that we could. Having dealt first hand with a gay son, we understand that struggles and tribulations that can come from being different and not being accepted. Since we have this experience, we wanted to make sure that you had a comfortable place to go where you felt accepted."
Mr. Tweak nodded to agree with his wife's words as he sat down and sipped at his own coffee mug. "In fact, we were hoping we could extend a little more help than just a comfortable environment. Here at Tweak Bros, we generally offer insurance plans to employees who have worked with us for more than two years. With your situation though.... We would like to offer that sooner if you would be interested. It generally covers most doctor's visits and therapists. It also covers most medications and surgeries recommended by therapists or doctors."
Mrs. Tweak smiled and nodded, "And if that's something that you would be interested in, I could gladly add your name to that as soon as possible." She said, looking at the boy in front of her.
"It does cost a bit of money off of your paycheck though. It is $200 a month, so about $100 off of every check. Of course, this is optional and you can always cancel." Mr. Tweak spoke.
Mrs. Tweak smiled at Butters before speaking a little bit more, "Alongside that, if you want to come to work in skirts or make-up, we don't mind. This may sound a bit rude, but you need to at least try to be passing for us to really allow it though. We don't want to lose business because of someone being uncomfortable."
Butters was in shell shock over all of this information that he was having to take in all at the same time. There really was a lot that he hadn't been expecting and here he was, basically being handed the best opportunity in his life. "Y-y-yes, definitely!" Butters said, hoping that his enthusiasm wasn't strange or anything. He was really nervous about all of this. This was a large new chapter of his life and he was worried about facing it.
"Did you bring any of your paperwork with you so that you could finish the application process today?" Mrs. Tweak asked.
Butters looked down. "A-actually... I-I was kicked out of my house an-and my parents didn't give me any of my important papers.... B-b-but I know all of the numbers by heart." He said, hoping that the fact that he didn't have his birth certificate or social security card wouldn't make him lose this great opportunity.
Mrs. Tweak made a strange face before speaking again, "Well, I suppose that we could just go off of faith that you're telling the truth about who you are and who that you want to be." She said with a small smile. "I trust you. If this was some big corporation like Richard wanted us to be back in the day, than this would be a big issue, but we know you. It'll be okay." She said with a smile before standing up. "Let me go get the tax form that we can fill out. Is this your first job?" She asked Butters.
"Y-yes, ma'am." Butters said, his voice shaking a little bit.
"Okay, I'll show you how to fill this out. Okay?" She said, hoping that she could provide any extra help to Butters, especially since the poor kid was already having so much trouble elsewhere.
"Th-thank you..." Butters spoke, feeling like he was being a really big burden to the Tweak family at that point since they were helping him so much with everything.
Mrs. Tweak smiled at the blonde and shook her head, "There's really no problem, honey." She said. "Richard, can you go get the W9 form?" She asked, looking at her husband.
The man rolled his eyes at his wife as he got up.
"I love you." She said to him as she scooted closer to Butters to make sure that she could help him read the form and everything.
They sat and spent a little bit of time working on the tax form before going over a schedule and the things that Butters would have to do for his job. They trained him on some of the coffee machines and let him know when he could start working alongside the hours. After that, Butters was told what kind of outfit was okay to wear and what wasn't.
Hours went by and the blonde was educated and trained with a customer or two that came in.
It had been months since Marjorine had started working at Tweek Bros Coffee and the blonde was beginning to accept herself as the girl she was always meant to be. In fact, she had been going to therapy with the insurance that she was provided and the assistance of Mr. Garrison driving her to appointments in Denver.
Her hair had grown out and she liked to wear it with it all brushed to one side, similar to how she wore it when she was younger, but more girlish. She generally passed as a girl, only her voice really giving away that she might even possibly be a boy. She had been working really hard to make herself look a little curvy, especially since she hadn't started her estrogen or testosterone blockers yet.
At that moment, she was in the car with Mr. Garrison, going to get her first testosterone blocker shot and her prescription of estrogen. She was so excited. She was lucky she could sit still. She was tired of stuffing her bra and wearing shapers to make her body look like that of a girl's. It was nearly a two hour drive to Denver and that seemed like much too far away for the blonde to sit still.
There wasn't a lot of talking in the car. After all, Mr. Garrison knew that all Marjorine wanted to talk about the wonders of becoming a woman. That wasn't what he wanted to hear for two hours straight so he didn't dare start conversations.
When they pulled into the parking lot of the doctor's office building, Marjorine practically fell out of the car. She was so excited that she couldn't bare it at all. She rushed up to the door but held herself back enough to wait for Mr. Garrison, who always came into the waiting room for her.
"Geez, are you really that excited for all that hormonal bullshit?" He asked as he walked up to the door.
She grinned and smiled, opening the door for the man, "Y-yeah, I am. I-I'ma get lady curves an-and not have to deal with shavin' my face anymore. A-and maybe I-I'll get lucky an' get a little endowed." She said with a smile on her face as she closed the door behind them and walked up to the registration counter, "Stotch, ma'am." She said to the nurse.
The nurse, who looked bored as always, looked down at her sheets, "First name and date of birth."
"Leopold and 9/11/97." Marjorine said, feeling a little uncomfortable saying her birth name. After all, that was attached to her male self, the part of her that she wanted gone.
"Okay, I have you checked in. Dr. Hicks will be out in a moment." She said, moving to type something into the computer.
Marjorine went to her favourite waiting room seat, Mr. Garrison having already migrated over to that area of the waiting room. As they waited, Marjorine really couldn't help herself as she tapped her foot and did anything to make her excitement just a little bit more containable. She couldn't believe that this was actually happening. Six months ago she was telling herself that this wasn't a possibility and now she was literally sitting in the doctor's office, waiting for her life to change. It was so exciting.
"Stotch!" A lady with a clipboard called out from the door back to the exam rooms.
Marjorine popped up from her seat, excited for this appointment. She followed the nurse back, where she was weighed and her height was taken. After that, she was taken into an exam room. She had to wait there for a small bit as well before the doctor came in, seeing her excitement right away. "You remember what this appointment is, don't you?" He asked, even though he knew by the look on her face that she knew exactly what they were doing at that appointment.
"Y-yeah and I-I'm really excited!" She said, not really sure how much longer she could wait. "I-I'm really excited for all of this!" She was ready for the changes in her body and her whole self. She was ready to become a girl. She was ready to start her new life. After all, she was born to be Marjorine and now her wishes and her fate were being given to her in a golden ticket and she really couldn't keep her excitement down any longer.
The doctor smiled at her, "You should be. This is the beginning of your new life, Marjorine." He said, remembering her female name, which made her feel even more excited. "Okay, let's get down to the serious part of this." He said as he started typing on the computer sitting next to the little medical exam table. "I'll be giving you Casodex and Estrodiol, both to take by mouth every day, twice a day. However, for the first week, I would like for you to take half of each and then build to a whole one each day, just to build your body up to a therapeutic level."
Marjorine listened carefully. She was actually really surprised since she was going to originally going to have shots. She didn't want to ask about what happened to that, so she just listened to her doctor.
"Now I want to mention side effects." He said as he looked away from his computer and to Marjorine. "The most obvious one will be a lack of sex drive. Alongside that, you will start having mood swings and feel a bit temperamental. That will calm down the longer you take it. It may upset your stomach if you don't take them both with food and water. The testosterone blockers may cause weight loss and a small bit of weakness."
Marjorine was listening very carefully to everything so that she could watch for all of these things, especially since she was so focused on her body shape and the way that she looked.
"I think that besides that, you should be okay. If you have any sickness, vomiting, fever, or anything like that, you need to stop taking this medication immediately and contact me, okay?" He made sure that she was listening with that. "I want to make sure that you are on the correct medications to treat your case, and if this doesn't work out for you, then we can always try something else." He said, wanting to make sure that Marjorine knew that there were more options if the medications that she was currently given didn't work the right way.
"I-I understand." She said, feeling like the doctor really wanted her verbal understanding of what he was saying with that one thing.
"Okay, so I think that that is all that this appointment was, yes? So I'll leave you with this and you can go check out and get this filled at your local pharmacy." He said with a smile on his face before handing her a paper and leading her out of the room.
Marjorine quickly walked out and to the scheduling nurse her gave her an appointment for two months from then and sent her on her way.
When the blonde stepped out, she was sure that she was grinning ear to ear. Mr. Garrison stood up from where he was sitting and rolled his eyes at her, "It's really not that excitin'. You'll feel like you're PMSin' for weeks." He said as he followed her out of the waiting room.
Marjorine nodded her head, "B-but at least I get to feel what PMSin' feels like. I-I'm real excited for all of this. I-I'ma take these to the pharmacy the moment we get home!" She said, looking down at the little prescriptions that she had. "I-I'm so happy for this!" She said. Everything in her life was working out just the way that she was wanting it to. She was finally happy.
Marjorine looked over at Kenny and held her shirt tightly to her body and turned herself, "A-aren't they growin'?" She asked, looking at the fact that her body had started getting curves and her breasts started growing.
Kenny smiled at the blonde and nodded, "You look great, Buttercup." He said with a small chuckle.
"I-I know that, b-but my boobs! D-don't they look bigger?" Marjorine said, grabbing her own breasts. She was actually beginning to need a bra and it made her feel more comfortable with her body and making her more and more excited to be alive every day. "I-I think I'm startin' to look like a real girl!" She said, as she ran her hands down her sides. "A-and get this, I-I've not had to shave my face in a whole week!"
The taller blonde felt a little guilty when he looked at her too long, knowing that the girl had more things on her mind than that sort of stuff so he didn't study the way that her body was changing, even though he did listen when she talked about it. "That's really great, Marj. I'm so happy for you."
It had only been a month since she started taking her medication in the mornings and she was already looking so much more feminine. She did cry about a lot more stuff. She had started having breakdowns about her parents and how hard this all was. She cried about work and customers and other things, but that was just her hormones. Despite all of that, she was so happy to be who she was and who she was becoming. She was becoming a beautiful woman who was already passing. The Tweak family was even allowing her to wear her female nametag and no one questioned her gender or anything.
Marjorine grinned really big at Kenny before reaching over and giving him a big hug, "Th-this wouldn't even be happenin' if you hadn't found me and taken me in." She said, gripping a little bit tighter.
Kenny let out a small laugh, "Yeah, but it's Garrison who takes you to all of those appointments in Denver and the Tweaks who pay for those appointments. And didn't Red set you up with those doctors? I'm just a roof over your head. A shitty one at that."
"B-but a roof is where it starts." Marjorine said softly as she slowly pulled away from the hug. "Y-you have been a real big help. Th-the biggest thing you did that helped me was the fact that you woke me up from the snow that day. I-I coulda died." She said as she straightened out her shirt before looking around the room, "Do you know where I put my bra? I-I wanna look real good today for school." She asked, getting up from Kenny' bed and beginning to check in her bedding in case she got it tangled in that in the middle of the night or something.
Kenny just shrugged and shook his head. "I try to stay outta your personal stuff. A girl's gotta have her space."
Marjorine just nodded as she dug around before going to her laundry hamper. "Aha! I found it. I threw it in the dirty clothes hamper on accident last night." She said with a small chuckle before she turned her back from Kenny. As her body began changing and looking more feminine, she cared a lot more about what Kenny did and didn't see. Even though some parts of her body were still male, she was completely female from the waist up.
After getting her bra on, she moved to her box, where she had slowly been buying herself clothes with the little extra money she had laying around from after paying Mr. Garrison for rides and Kenny for a place to stay, and food. She dug through it until she found a cute dress that she liked. It was green and faded to white at the bottom near her knees. It was perfect for her. She found green tights and her black belt and nodded. "'Kay, Ken, you should keep lookin' away for now." She said as she slipped her skirt down before pulling the dress over her head. She quickly put the rest on and smiled at herself, thinking she looked nice. "Okay, we-we're good." She said, really excited for the school day. She was planning to even do her makeup. Maybe if they saw her in her natural beauty, they could accept that she was Marjorine now and no one was going to mess with that.
Kenny turned around and smiled really big at the petite blonde, "You look stunnin'." He said, being sincere.
"G-good enough lookin'." She said with a small head nod. She thought that she was beautiful in this outfit. She looked nice most of the time and her new body was making her feel even more comfortable and confident in herself every single day.
"Are you gonna put makeup on? I mean, not like you need it or nothin' but I'm just curious." Kenny asked, looking at the girl in front of him.
"Y-yeah, I was thinkin' of doin' that." Marjorine said with a smile. "I-I don't have any colours that match this outfit too well though... D-do you think Karen might?"
Kenny made a small disapproving face before nodding, "She might. She's been getting' makeup from somewhere, but she's only in middle school."
"Aww, c'mon, Ken. L-let girls be girls." She said, nudging him a little before disappearing for a moment or two before coming back, "S-she had a green eyeshadow pallet. S-saviour of the day for sure." She said, before moving over to the mirror that hung on the back of Kenny's door. They had actually gotten for her so that she could apply makeup since their bathroom mirror had been broken for quite a bit of time.
Only ten minutes later and the girl had applied light, natural makeup with a small hue of green to help with her redness and to generally match her colour scheme of the day. "Th-there we go. I-I'm all ready." She said with a smile as she turned around. She honestly thought that she looked hot, which was a very rare thing for her. It was great that she was about to look as good as she did on only a month and a week's worth of hormones. It made her so happy that all of these things were happening around her and working out for her.
Kenny got up off of his bed and slipped his shoes on before putting his regular coat and zipping it up, "Alright, I'm good to go too." He said with a small laugh. He really would never understand how she could spend so much time just getting ready for school. It was really strange to him; he would never reprimand her on it though. It was something that made her feel more comfortable with herself and he wasn't going to stop her from doing anything that made her feel better.
The walk to school was quiet like always. Kenny had never really been much of a talker and Marjorine had been a lot more in her head lately, especially with all of the thinking that she was doing about her transitioning. She had even been trying to save up to get a car. She really wanted to make sure that her life was going to be perfect after all of this was over with.
Once they got to school, Marjorine was beaming. Quite a few people spoke with her and actually referred to her as Marjorine. Alongside that, she even got a few compliments from her classmates on her makeup and choice of outfit.
Lunch came around and Red walked up to her with a big smile on his face, "Hey girly. I see the transition seems to be going will."
"I-it is!" Marjorine said, smiling at the thought of this wonderful change in her life.
"You know, I remember the first time that I started noticing changes in my body from my T and oh boy, was I so excited. I get that excitement when you realise that first big change that is a big identifying key in the other gender. For me it was having to shave my face. Man, I was so happy that I think I called everyone in my address book and told ‘em." Red said, grinning like an idiot. "I mean, now I let a little beard get going ‘cuz I think it looks pretty good. Helps me pass too."
Marjorine smiled and listened to what Red had to say, before taking her turn to talk, "S-so for, the biggest change has been my waist. I look so much thinner an-and less like a straight line. I-I also have the softest skin I-I've ever had in my whole life. I-I'm a little on the moodier side though, but that's okay. I-I'm even startin' to get lil' mosquito bites." She said with a grin.
"Your hair is also looking really great, Marj. Not to mention the fact that you've been the brightest star in class these days. You can really tell that this was what you wanted. It shows on your face." Red said, as he messed with his ear chain piercing.
"Y-you think so? I-I feel a lot happier, honestly. I-I've been bein' myself, ev-even at work. I-It's real amazin'. E-even people that've known me my whole life are callin' me Marjorine an-and respectin' my gender." She said with a smile. "W-was it this amazin' for you too?"
"Definitely. Fuck, people calling me Robert instead of Rebecca... It was the most amazing thing! I mean, I'm still down with people calling me Red for sure. After all, T helped me change my gender, not my hair colour. But, anyway, it's relieving to have another person accepting your identity. That's always the best feeling ever." He said, nodding his head. "I mean, I get so ecstatic over a girl being willing to still date me knowing I'm trans." He spoke with a head nod.
"I-is it hard to find someone to date when you're trans?" Marjorine asked, her voice a little quiet.
Red nodded his head, "For me it is. Once you're done transitioning, it'll be a breeze. But it's a little hard to explain to girls that the bulge in my pants is made of silicon and there're not any goods to do the do, you know?"
Marjorine blushed and nodded, "I-I guess that makes sense. Th-the doctor told me that re-assignment surgery is easier for male-to-female trans-people... I-I'm sorry that you can't get a... you know."
Red patted Marjorine on that bad and shook his head, "Hey, I'm all good. I have my ways and if the ladies aren't interested, then that's their purgative." He said with a head nod.
Marjorine was still blushing at even the thought of sex. She had no intentions of sex for a while and hadn't even really thought about it as a real thing for the time being.
"But I'm sure you'll be fine. You're a pretty lady. Not to mention, it looks like Kenny's got the hots for you." Red said with a smirk as he glanced over at the table that Kenny always sat at with the guys.
"O-oh, no, Ken and I-I aren't a thing." Marjorine said, sure that her face was even redder than it had be a moment before.
"You walk to and from school, talk a lot, ya know, what couples do. Even you and Tweek don't talk that much and you work with the boy six days a week." Red said.
"W-well, I stay with him..." Marjorine said softly. She knew that she was easily embarrassed so it probably did look like more was going on.
"Shh, don't worry about it; I'm teasing you." Red said, patting Marjorine's back before letting out a small laugh. "Us trans-kids gotta stick together, yeah? If you ever need anyone to talk to or anything, just let me know." Red said before winking. "See you later, girl." He said, before beginning to move away.
Marjorine just smiled and waved before starting to get food. She was glad that she had a support system and so many people who tried their best to make her feel comfortable. It was great and she was glad for it. She needed it.
Marjorine had had a lot of terrifying moments in her life in recent times, but this one almost completely took the cake. She was going to go try and talk with her parents about everything. She wanted them to see her as a person, someone who still had feelings and was still their child.
"Are you sure you wanna do this, Marj? I mean... First off, you look totally different. What if they don't even recognise you?" Kenny asked, looking at the girl he had been housing and taking care of for the last year.
So much had changed about her and the way that she looked that it was very possible for her parents to be confused about who she was. Her body looked completely physically female and she even spoke in such a way that she sounded like a girl. Her hair was at her shoulders and styled in a small braid down the side. She was wearing makeup and one of her best casual outfits to impress her parents.
"I-I want ‘em to see me. I want ‘em to know how serious I am about this, how serious I was when I told ‘em." She said, looking at herself in a compact mirror to make sure that her hair was good and her makeup was done right.
"And how will they respond about me?" Kenny asked, looking at her. He felt a little uncomfortable standing outside of the Stotch home, where Marjorine insisted she wanted to go.
"Wh-what about you? I'm a girl, I have a boyfriend. I-it's not like I'm gay or nothin'." She said with a small smile and a chuckle, even though there was a little bit of nerves behind it. "I-I wanna own up. I-I want my parents to see that they were the weak ones in this and that they're the ones missin' out on this great gal." She said, before closing the compact she had been holding.
Kenny let out a small sigh. He knew that at that point, there was no changing Marjorine's mind. She was a strong lady and she could do just about anything that she wanted to and she was going to. This transitioning experience was teaching her so much confidence, which was a big part of why Kenny fell for her.
"S-so let's go. If they slam the door in my face, then that's that. If they wanna talk like adults, then that's better than I expected." Marjorine had dealt with her fair share of disappointments and those were mostly from her parents.
Kenny didn't argue with the girl, especially knowing the fact that she really did want to mend the damage that have occurred between the family when she had come out over a year before. He knew that she cared a lot about her parents, even if they didn't give two shits about her.. That was just how she had always been, even when they were younger.
Marjorine walked up to the doorstep of her home and let out a slow breath before knocking, a little harder than was probably necessary. She glanced back at Kenny, as if to get a little bit of emotional support through this.
The door opened and there stood Marjorine's mother. She looked confused for a moment before she smiled really big, "Butters?" She asked.
"H-hey, mom." Marjorine said quietly. She had no intentions of jumping into her mother's arms and hugging her or anything, in fear that her mom wasn't going to be accepting.
"Oh, my God, Butters... Y-you're so beautiful. C'mere." Linda grabbed the blonde girl and pulled her into a tight hug, "I didn't know where you went, if you were okay.... I-if you'd changed your mind about the whole thing..." She said quietly as she held her daughter tightly. She hadn't even really noticed Kenny at that point.
"D-dad told me to leave... S-so I did. I-I assumed you both hated me. So..." She spoke quietly.
"Oh, no, honey. I spent days after that trying to convince him to let you come back... I mean, just because you wanted to be a different gender didn't change that fact that you're our son.... daughter?" Linda said softly. She released Marjorine from the hug before finally noticing Kenny. She looked between the two of them before letting out a slow breath, "Do you kids want to come in?"
Marjorine smiled at her mom and nodded, "Sure. I-is dad home?"
"Oh, no. He started working night shifts. He probably won't be home until around 1 am." She said, looking a little anxious about that fact.
"Oh." Marjorine said softly as she stepped into the house. She took in a deep breath and a small smile appeared on her face, "I-I missed bein' here." She said, thinking about the smell and the way everything looked. It felt right, like home.
"I don't know about Stephen's opinion on this, but you are welcome here anytime he isn't." She said before guiding them to the dining room. "You guys sit down, I'll make a small snack or something."
"That's okay, Mrs. Stotch." Kenny said, an automatic response to almost any offer he was given.
Linda looked back at him before grinning and looking over at Marjorine, "Is this your boyfriend, Butter?"
Marjorine blushed deeply, immediately giving her mother the answer that she was looking for. "Mom." She said, in an embarrassed tone. After one moment, she took in a small breath before looking at Kenny and back at her mother, "Also... M-my name's Marjorine. I-I'm okay bein' called Marj though."
"Marjorine?" Linda said, as if testing the waters of the name. "What a pretty name for such a pretty lady." She said, before turning around, "I'm still going to prepare snacks. Thanks for trying to politely decline, Kenny."
Marjorine honestly didn't know if her mother had remembered Kenny at all, but judging from the way that she recalled his name right away, she definitely did. The younger girl sat down at the dining table, in the exact spot that she sat at when the Stotch family used to have dinner.
As they waited for Linda to make something for them to eat, both Kenny and Marjorine sat at the table awkwardly. It was strange that Linda was treating her like a guest, even though she was. It was just very strange. She was a whole new person and it was like introducing a new person to her mother. It was really uncomfortable and weird. She could only suppose that that feeling would wear off with time. At least, that was what she hoped for. She didn't want this weird formality with her mother for the rest of her life.
After about five minutes, Linda came back to the dining room with a few sandwiches cut into little triangles. "Here we are. Now we can eat while we catch up, yeah?" She said as she sat the plate with the sandwiches down on the table and sat down at the end of the table. "So... Marjorine. What's going on? How have things been?"
Marjorine felt put on the spot, but she should have expected as such. Really, she didn't expect to actually get so far. Really, she expected for her mother to have not even allowed her into the house. She expected her mother to slam the door in her face. Maybe she had expectations that were unbefitting of her own mother.
The smallest blonde cleared her throat a little bit before starting to speak, "I-I, um... I-I have a job a-and I go to therapy in Denver every week. I-I'm planning to get my GED after my surgery, which is scheduled for March."
"Surgery?" Linda's eyebrows went up, looking concerned and confused.
"Umm, y-yeah. My SRS. Sex reassignment surgery." She said quietly.
Linda nodded a little slowly, which made things feel awkward. "S-so you still have...?"
"Y-yeah, I still have my penis, mom. B-but I'm still completely a girl otherwise. I even have it legally on my ID and everything." She said with a small smile.
"How does that work?" She asked, sounding genuinely curious.
"I-I've been going to the doctor for hormones and testosterone blockers and after so many months on those, they let you legally change your gender on official paperwork. Even my name is legally changed. Marjorine Leah Stotch." She said with a small head nod. "I made my middle name Leah to be as close to my name before as possible... After all, you named me Leopold, wh-which meant you musta liked it and I wanted to preserve that in any way I could."
Linda smiled a little bit at the fact that her daughter still cared about what they thought even after Stephen had put her out like that. "I'm still really sorry that your father pushed you away like that... I felt horrible that there was little that I could do to help with that."
"I-it's okay, mom. Kenny let me stay at his house. In fact, that's where I live now." Marjorine said with a small head nod. "After I get my SRS, I'm sharing a room with his sister, his parents' rules." She said with a small chuckle.
Linda raised one eyebrow before speaking, "How long have you two been dating?"
Kenny was the one to answer this. "We've been dating for the last four months, ma'am. Started datin' on September 4th." He said with a head nod. He grinned at Marjorine for a second before looking at Linda, "Marj is really bad with dates." He said with a small chuckle.
Marjorine nodded and laughed, "Yeah, b-but I think everyone who knows me knows that. I-I used to remember dates real well, but somewhere that skill wondered off."
Linda looked at the two of them. She could really see where they were a good couple for each other, especially since they seemed to have each others' backs. "So have you guys had sex?" She asked, rather bluntly.
Marjorine blushed really deeply, unable to look at her. "N-n-no way." She said, her face really red.
"Marj's really self conscious. Ya know, girls don't have dicks and all, so she won't let me even really touch her. But that's all good because that shows that we can be in a good, healthy relationship without sex." Kenny said with a smile and a head nod.
"Y-yeah, what he said." She got really nervous talking about sex. She had always had this incorrect organ on her and it was going to be there for only a few more months. However, soon she was going to have a vagina herself and then she planned to give her virginity to Kenny. She had already done a lot of stuff to Kenny, in all honesty, but she refused to let him touch her because of her penis.
Linda nodded a little bit before looking at Marjorine, "I really never knew you were so uncomfortable with yourself before." She said softly. "I'm sorry. I'm sorry I never noticed... It really seemed like you were gay to Stephen and I. We thought that you were gay. When you came out to It was a shock to the both of us because you weren't coming out as gay."
Marjorine nodded, "I thought I was gay for a long time too... I thought that it was just me wanting to be with a boy. B-but I was so envious of girls... How their hair flowed, how their bodies were shaped, the attention they got from boys... It was a hard decision to come to... But now I-I'm completely sure that it was the right one. I was meant to be Marjorine. I-I've never felt more comfortable and confident. S-sometimes I don't even stutter." She said with a head nod.
Linda listened. She was really guilty of everything that happened between the whole family. It was unfair of Marjorine to have lost her parents over her gender. "How did you manage to get your life together like this all by yourself? You aren't embezzling or stealing someone's identity, are you?"
"No, no way, mom. How could you even think I'd be smart enough to do somethin' like that and get away with it." Marjorine said with a small laugh. "I-I've been workin' a lot. I got a job at Tweek Bros and they have a great insurance plan I been payin' out. I-I also have help... A guy from my class is a trans-man and he told me all of the right doctors and everythin' and then Mr. Garrison's been drivin' me to Denver every week so long as I pay for gas ‘til I can get my own driver's license and car." Marjorine said. "I-I got this all figured out."
"Well, I'm proud of you. You're doing what you love and you're being so strong." Linda said with a smile before reaching over and running her fingers through her daughter's hair. "You have turned into a beautiful, stunning woman." She looked over at Kenny, "You hurt my daughter and I'll hurt you." She said.
Kenny wouldn't hurt Marjorine. He wanted this to be the best time of her life. He wanted her to be as happy as she could be. He wanted the world for her and more. "I'll take good care of your daughter, Mrs. Stotch. I promise."
Linda smiled at Kenny before turning her attention back to Marjorine. "I think you look even better as a girl than you did as a boy. This really fits you." She said with a smile. She really hoped that Marjorine would even begin to trust her. She wanted to be a part of her life.
"Do you think that dad will ever accept me?" Marjorine suddenly asked, looking at her mom seriously. Her father was strict and sometimes mean, but Marjorine still missed him.
"I don't know, sweety. I don't know. He won't even talk about you." She said softly. "He doesn't take these sorts of things well, you know?" She spoke quietly.
Marjorine just nodded a little bit. That was just what she expected of her father. He was a coward. He couldn't face his own problems so he definitely couldn't see someone else through theirs. That was just the kind of man that he was. "Well, h-he's missin' out." Marjorine said, nodding her head.
"Yes, he is. You're our child regardless and I am still going to love you until the day that I die." Linda said softly. "So, let's eat our sandwiches and exchange information, yeah?" She said with a smile on her face.
"Yeah. I can give you my cell phone number and maybe we can go to dinner as mother and daughter! That'd be real fun, I think." Marjorine said with a big smile.
Kenny was very glad to see that his girlfriend was getting everything that she wished for. It made him so happy that she was able to be the girl she wanted to be and she could have her mother back.
They spent until late that night at the Stotch home talking, sharing plans, and just having a good time. It was one of the most relieving nights for Marjorine. She finally felt completely accepted. She didn't expect that either of her parents would ever speak to her ever again so this meant more to her than most things. It definitely made her life feel even more right.
"Kenny, I'm real scared..." She mumbled quietly, looking at the blonde with big, watery blue eyes.
"Shhh, it's gonna be okay." Kenny said, rubbing her head a little bit to make sure that Marjorine felt as relaxed as she could be. "This is gonna work out perfectly and you are gonna be the perfect and wonderful girl you've always been."
"I-I'm scared though.... Wh-what if I never wake up? O-or what if they mess up...?" She said, clinging to him as she waited for her name to be called in the waiting room of the doctor's office.
Finally, after such a long time, she was getting her sex-reassignment surgery and she was going to be completely female. She had been scared all night and hadn't even gotten a small nap in before going to the hospital at five in the morning.
Kenny kissed her forehead and rubbed her shoulder, trying to help her relax in any way that he could. "It'll all work out, darlin'. I'm sure of it." He said. He wasn't even going to dare to show any fear to her. He loved her and wanted to be as strong for her as possible.
"You sure? I-if I die, I'ma haunt you forever for lyin' to me." She said, looking at him with her watery eyes. She was so nervous that words couldn't even begin to explain how scared she was about all of this. She wanted this to be real, but the fear that went with surgery was something she didn't like.
"Then I deserve to be haunted cuz I'm pretty damn sure." Kenny said.
Right after he got done speaking, a nurse came out into the lobby, "Marjorine Stotch?" She called out.
Marjorine looked at Kenny with big eyes before looking at the nurse. "C-c-can he come in too?" She asked.
"Yes, guests are allowed in the prep area and in the recovery bay." She said, before waving them in, "Follow me. We're going to get your set up on an IV and start preparing you for surgery. You haven't eaten or had anything to drink in the last 12 hours, correct?" She asked as she walked, reading off of a clipboard she was carrying.
"Y-yeah, that's right." She said with a small nod.
"Allergic to any medications?" The nurse asked.
"N-nope. I-I have a severe peanut allergy though." Marjorine said softly.
The nurse smiled before nodding her head and writing something on the chart. "Thank you for telling me. That lets us know that there are certain medications we cannot use on you." She said before looking between the two of them. "Are you scared of needles, Marjorine?"
Marjorine nodded a little nervously before speaking out, "Um, y-yeah. B-but if I don't look, I might be okay." She said. Most of the time, she could handle shots or anything as long as she wasn't looking at the needle or acknowledging the fact that it was inside of her.
"Okay, we can put a little bandaid over the IV so that you can't see it. Think that would help?" She asked, as she stepped through a doorway before signalling the two of them inside of the room.
"Th-that'd probably help bunches." Marjorine said. She had only had IVs a few times in her life and she had always simply avoided looking at whatever arm they happened to put the needle in. Having a bandaid would really help a lot more though, especially since it was hard not to look at something like that.
"Alright, I'll make sure to request that for you so that you won't have to deal with looking at it during this whole scary process. Anyway, ma'am, this is your bay for prepping. Another nurse and the anaesthesiologist will be here soon to get that IV in and talk to you a little bit more before the surgery." The nurse said before smiling and waving a little before walking away.
Marjorine was sure that she was pale but she was trying to take all of this as strongly as she could. After all, this is definitely what she wanted. She wanted this surgery to make her actually a girl. It was her dream. It was frightening to her though, knowing that she was going to be a completely different person physically after this surgery. It was all scary to her really, not just that factor. She was just scared.
Kenny could see it in her face that she was scared out of her mind. He reached over and held one of her hands. "You can do this. You got this." He said softly, giving her a smile. "C'mon, you're one of the bravest people I know."
Marjorine blushed a little bit and giggled, "B-but this... This is surgery..." She said softly. "I-I'm scared outta my wits, Ken. Wh-what if I never wake up?" She asked, looking at the other blonde pretty seriously.
"You'll be fine. You'll get through this just like you did all of the other thin's you have had to face. You're an amazin' person with a great personality to boot. You can do it." Kenny said, giving her hand a little grip.
Marjorine looked at him, making sure he knew what he was talking about before she let out a small sigh and nodded, "O-okay, I guess you're right. I-I'm just over-reactin'. Th-that is a skill of mine." She said quietly.
Before Kenny could say anything, the nurse walked in with the saline and things for the IV. "Marjorine Stotch?" She asked, despite the fact that she was moving with the certainty like she didn't need to ask.
"Y-yeah, that's me." She said softly.
"My name is Eva, I'm going to be the nurse who gives you your IV. I hear you're a little squeamish to needles? I'll bandage it up afterwards so you can't even see it." She said with a smile.
"Y-yeah, I'm not real good with needles. I'ma try my best to just tough it out." She said with a small head nod, as if she was reassuring herself more so than the nurse.
"I'm sure you can handle it." She said, patting her shoulder softly before asking her, "In the past, have you ever had an IV?"
Marjorine nodded, "A few times actually." She said, looking at the nurse as she began u packaging some of the tubes that would be connected to her arm.
The nurse nodded a little bit at the answer before looking between her arms and asking, "Which arm did they normally do?" She wanted the best vein possible for the least pain. After all, this was all about Marjorine and her comfort during this time.
"Normally, they'd do my left arm, right in the middle." She said with a small nod.
Eva nodded and took Marjorine's left arm before poking around a little bit with two of her fingers. "Is this normally about where they put it?" She asked as she pressed an area on Marjorine's arm.
"Yes, ma'am." She said with a small nod.
Eva decided against putting the needle in the same spot, considering the fact that that was going to push through scar tissue, which would hurt even more than a regular IV. She started picking around on the other arm before she decided on a place and looked up at Marjorine. "Okay, I'm going to clean this area with alcohol and try it. Just bare with me, okay?"
Marjorine nodded before reaching for Kenny's hand with her left hand. "O-Okay, I-I'ma try my best." She said. She fainted a lot from needles but they had to do that for her to have her surgery, so she was going to fight through it. She could do it.
The nurse cleaned the area before warning her, "A small prick, honey." She said before she pressed the needle in slowly.
Marjorine let out slow breaths as she held Kenny's hand very tightly. She closed her eyes tightly, trying to relax.
"Okay, now I just have to put the bandaid over it and we'll be good." Eva said, grabbing the bandaging and slipping it over the exposed needle before taping it down. "There we go. It's all over with." She said with a small smile. "You did great." She said, patting Marjorine's shoulder.
The blonde let out the breath she had ended up holding and looked at the wound before looking up at the nurse and nodding. "Th-thanks, Nurse Eva." She said, feeling a little more confident about this. After all, everyone was being so supportive of her and what was going on at that moment. That was something she hadn't had too much of starting off.
"Not a problem, sweety." She said with a smile. "The anaesthesiologist will be here soon to talk to you a little bit about the anaesthesia and how you'll be feeling after surgery. After that, it'll be go time and I'll excuse your friend here to the recovery area to wait."
Marjorine nodded a little bit. She was still terrified.
After a few moments, a tall person of colour walked into the room and smiled at her, "Hi, you must be Marjorine. Lady of the day, am I right? I'm Dr. Tyrone, your anaesthesiologist. I'm going to let you know that what we have here for you will make you feel a little sick to your stomach the first few hours after surgery and may cause you to sleep a lot more than normal. Call us immediately if you vomit blood or excessively." He said. As he spoke, he put something into the IV and then spoke again, "This is just a little something to make you calm."
Marjorine immediately felt the effects of whatever he had put into her IV because she got a wave of dizziness, then exhaustion.
Dr Tyrone smiled at her before patting her knee with his right hand, "Don't worry. This'll all be a memory soon enough and you'll be livin' your life like it's yours." He said, smiling at her. "I'm gonna send the nurse back in here and we'll get this show on the road." He spoke, the smile uplifting her a little even though her head felt fuzzy. He quickly stepped away, leaving Marjorine and Kenny alone.
"Did that medicine really calm you down?" He asked, looking at her. She looked a lot calmer than early and the grip that she had had on his hand had been alleviated quite a bit since the anaesthesiologist gave her that medication.
Marjorine nodded a little before mumbling out, "I-I feel higher than a kite." She said, before letting out a giggle, "M-maybe I am." She didn't even ask what they had given her so who really knew.
"Well, high and calm is better than sober and panicked, yeah?" Kenny said with a smile at her. He could hear the footsteps of the nurse so he kissed Marjorine's forehead, "You'll do great, I'm sure of it."
Just as he pulled away, Nurse Eva walked in. "Alright, it looks like we are just about ready to go into surgery." She said, looking at her chart. "I'm sorry, but your friend will have to sitting in the waiting area by the recovery rooms..." She said, before looking at him and then back at Marjorine. "Your doctor and a few nurses will take you back to the OR." She said, as Marjorine's doctor and a few nurses she didn't recognise unlocked the bed's wheels and began pulling her away.
"I-I love you, Ken." Marjorine said, though she was mumbling, her mind all fuzzy.
After saying her goodbye to Kenny, the man she recognised as the anaesthesiologist put a mask over her face and said, "Count backwards from ten."
Marjorine started counting, but really didn't remember when she drifted off. It was somewhere between seven and six.
Six months had passed since her sex reassignment surgery and Marjorine felt like a completely new person. She went out more, made new friends, spoke with old friends, and did everything she felt she was supposed to do as a girl. She kept working, even though she was basically exactly where she wanted to be in life.
She even managed to talk with her father, which didn't go over the best but at least he understood how important the situation was to her. That was all that she could have hoped for and more. She was just so glad that she was able to visit home again, even though she wasn't welcome to live there.
Marjorine was completely content with life, satisfied that she had managed to do everything that she was hoping to do and was still able to be a part of mostly all of her friends' lives. She was glad that life was working out the way that she intended for it to go.