Sun. Heat. Sand. Three things that South Park never had, not really - not like this. They had winter, they had mild weather, they had what they had thought was summer. This was summer. This was fantastic. Like a scene right out of a fucking western, they were in a beat up pick-up truck at a gas station in literally the middle of nowhere. Far off on the horizon Craig could make out a smudge that was probably mountains, but the heat waves were thick enough that it was really hard to tell. Next to them about forty yards off was a single cactus. Flies were buzzing somewhere nearby, the comforting sign that something out there was still alive to eat what had already passed on. Kenny was inside, presumably taking a leak, but he had been in there so long Craig was beginning to suspect he was the dead thing the flies were feasting on. That was no good. He straightened up, not actually worried - but checking in through the window, just to make sure. No, he was fine. He was having an earnest chat with an old man who was shielded behind a plexiglass case within the plexiglass case that was the beaten-up storefront of the gas station. He saw Kenny dramatically cross himself, and snorted at how ironic the sight was. Then, after a few seconds of goodbye, he emerged, his face dropping from polite smile to coldly serious as he made his way back to the car. There were a few thumps as he disengaged the gas pump, and then he got back into the driver's seat and heaved a sigh.
"No good?" Craig drawled, pretending, as he always did, that he wasn't interested in the answer one way or another.
"No good. They won't wake up, either. We have to take them down. Did you figure out where to strike?"
"It's a fucking gas station, Kenny. I don't have to figure out where to strike - melt one pump and you bring the whole place down in an instant. Is everyone inside?"
"Yeah. They have a son."
"I don't give a shit. You know as well as I do that they've been cutting up kids way younger than their son and don't feel any remorse for it."
"I just feel like there's more we could be doing, you know?"
"Stop sympathizing. The tip we got from down under was good, we checked it out like you wanted to. Now we take care of business, and kill the weeds." He scowled, and shaded his eyes experimentally, making sure he had a handle on the trigger. "Not that these explosions are much fun for me..."
Kenny smirked crookedly, and turned the key in the rusted ignition a few times to kick it into gear. "They're fun for me, though. I like watching everything go up in smoke. Just as long as I don't get rained with some kid's bloody testicles, I'll be okay."
"Drive. The sooner we set this station on fire, the sooner the town will be safe."
The truck rumbled into gear, and Kenny accelerated - definitely a bit more than was necessary. Once Craig could only see the station about an inch high in the rear-view mirror, he turned around in his seat, and leaned out the window. It had been several months since charging his powers had burned him - practice, training, and a good word from the lord of the world beyond will fix those sort of rookie problems. Now he was as lethal and quick as he was spotless - an untraceable weapon in his face. He grunted softly as the heat charged behind his eyes, and concentrated his gaze (which was sharpened to an abnormal degree) on the base of the gas pump they had just finished filling up at. He was ready just in time to see the old man Kenny had been talking to stagger out of his plexiglass cage mindlessly, and held an arm up in a lazy wave that he knew the other man could not see, and could not return. Then he let loose, and a single jet of ice-hot energy released from his charging eyes to his target, which started to go up in a satisfying cloud of black and orange smoke. Then the explosions continued...and continued. Underneath them. After a few more seconds he had to grasp the beaten orange door of the pick-up truck when the ground started to rumble underneath them.
"Guess we're not far enough away!" Kenny shouted cheerfully.
"Fuck you! Drive faster! You're the only goddamn immortal in this truck!"
"I know, it keeps me on my toes!" Kenny barked back, and took a sharp left, which pulled Craig back into the car. There was a large explosion behind them, and then a smaller one very close to where they had been a few seconds ago. Shit. If there was another tank underground up ahead - but no, even though the ground to their right was blowing up, Kenny had navigated them along a miraculous path clear of pressurized gas and molten explosive death. Craig took several deep breaths, and Kenny whooped in triumph, stuck his head and shoulders out the window, and stood heavily on the gas pedal. The roaring engine hurled them towards the smudge of mountains in the distance.
THE END